Today, I took my 8 year-old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child, and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, I was babysitting an eleven year-old boy. He decided we would play with Nerf guns with Velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck to his pants, and he wiggled it for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, my 14 year-old son asked to join my buddies and me at the gun range. The second I finished the safety lecture and handed him a pistol, he started twirling it on his finger (thankfully, it was unloaded). I smacked him in the head and took him home. Now he's moping and sulking like a bitch. FML
Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML
Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew, who told me he learned about fire safety today. I asked him what he'd do if there was a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell over, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
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Top comments
lainzilla 14
That isn't how you play laser tag?
chasin_butterfli 0
Did you at least get to shoot the little turd?
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Comments (89)
ipooprainbows 0
I'm gonna say the kid probably knew how to play lazer tag, he just felt like kicking you in the balls... win!
paramorefan125 0
LOL
lainzilla 14
That isn't how you play laser tag?
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Shoot him back in the balls, the radiation from the laser could be harmful in the long term, if you get what I'm saying...
stewie1744 0
dumbass. it's a lazor. not some radioactive beam
FernandoTorres_fml 0
They emit photons at a high velocity, which is enough to cause ionisation in your cell's DNA. If you weren't so arrogant, you'd have shut up before you embarrassed yourself.
YeahFMLxX 0
she spelt laser wrong, both of you stop being trolls. (:
money_over_rules 0
Yeah, lasers can do that, but the ones they use for laser tag are barely stronger than the lasers they use for barcode scanners.
Averizzle 0
Wow nice nerd talk for something as insignificant as laser tag lasers. They won't do any damage to
Averizzle 0
a man's testicles
ShadowlessSpear 21
*boy's*
dillonc11 0
why does everybody get kicked in the nuts it's un-nessary
stewie1744 0
but it's funny as hell
moose91894 0
no it's not
ZleveL 0
yeah if your a girl it might be funny, but for men it feels worse then have a period while shoving 3 dry cucumbers in your ass at once will hanging from a rope that's hooked through your nipples.
travistoned18 0
i agree with u gettin hit in the nuts hurts like hell! ..but how do u know what the other shit feels like? haha jk man
Catkam623 27
@73 great analogy made my day
Catkam623 27
I salute you
CallMeHush 1
Rochambeau for the win.
pinkyluvs8 0
haha that really sucks... balls :)
killerkurt 0
He got the game "Laser Tag" mixed up with "******** Tag". FYL
happypapp12 0
No one can be that stupid. Hmm I have a gun that shoots lasers and this is laser tag..... Ah **** it I'll just kick some dick head in the balls
deepdiver999 0
omg that's hilarious I actually lol-ed when I read this I feel bad for you though
jamieboy11 0
lol u got powned by little kids