Today, I gave my boss a report I wrote on my own time, full of suggestions on how to increase productivity and profits at our company. He said my ideas made "about as much sense as pistol-whipping a ghost" and that I was impressing no one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, I received a company-wide email from my boss, praising a coworker's extra effort at improving our line of business. The coworker's efforts were a direct copy-and-paste of a plan I put together three months ago. No one cared when I gave the presentation. FML
Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML
Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?" I said yes. He told me, "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML
Today, my boss asked me to send an email on his behalf with an important report attached. I've already received 3 responses from directors commenting on poor spelling and factual errors. I get paid 1/4 the salary of my boss and he can't even write properly. FML
Today, at work, I had to analyze timecards data and generate a report on the least billed / occupied people at work. I found myself at the bottom. I sent it to my boss too. FML
Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML
Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML
Today, I was scolded by my boss, all because I can finish most tasks in a quarter of the time it takes him, and he doesn't want to be shown up. FML
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Top comments
Ise_fml 6
It might just be because it was bad. Just because you made it in your own time doesn't make it better.
dudeutookhrs 24
And then he'll steal your ideas!
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Comments (47)
dudeutookhrs 24
And then he'll steal your ideas!
Talented73 54
Remember, no good deed goes unpunished.
Ise_fml 6
It might just be because it was bad. Just because you made it in your own time doesn't make it better.
frankmz 17
Wow. Seriously. They were only suggestions. And who would know better about making changes, or suggest changes to improve the work place than an employee who works there. I bet if you had the chance to say something like that to an employee, you couldn't. Not in a note, or e mail. To their face.
Dale_shackleford 13
I wouldn't if the suggestions were truly terrible. My guess is it was a combination of the suggestions being not so great and the boss just being an asshole.
frankmz 17
No. Bosses, supervisors, managers, employees of a higher position don't like suggestions unless they are there own. I hate working anywhere when you work with bosses that are like 1+1 is not 2, it's whatever I say. **** that.
icekingz 7
I guess his boss isn't as much of a pussy as you are and can handle telling someone the truth
gracehi 33
Maybe the suggestions were bad, but the fact that OP did the report on his own time and was trying to improve the company shows a work ethic and level of dedication that should be encouraged, not rebuked. The boss didn't even have to lie. He could have simply said, "No, these suggestions aren't going to work, but, thank you. I appreciate your effort all the same."
frankmz 17
Yeah. A pussy who can't put his pussy ass face on his profile right.
tarlax 11
Ooh, sick burn, dude. What next, "My dad can kick your dad's ass"? Whether these people are right or wrong, you're just acting like a crybaby. Frankly, you're the one who needs a damn good pistol-whipping right now.
frankmz 17
So you're okay with random people disrespecting you over your own opinion? I don't know where you're going with the dad thing, you must be a really young person. But I bet you that pussy doesn't even use that word to my face or anyone else.
tarlax 11
Of course I don't give a shit if someone "disrespects" me. How fragile is your ego? You're 31 years old, act your age. And the dad thing is what little kids say to each other to feel tough. It's on about the same level as wit as your comment. Your comments account for almost a whole third of this comments section. By this point, you're abusing the right to spout stupid shit.
frankmz 17
This has nothing to do with ego or how many comments one can make and even respect. But if you would like to comment on something, you have every right to voice your opinion and I can respect that. But to comment and voice your opinion disrespectfully, that's totally different.
tarlax 11
In his defence - and I'm really struggling to find any defence of this guy - #21 did call him a pussy first, and he was just throwing it back at him/her.
anonymous198913 26
Don't take it personally, OP. Sometimes bosses don't like taking ideas from their workers, because it takes them away from their job or it makes them look bad, or they like how everything is being run, and they don't want to make a bunch of changes.
GigaPudding_fml 24
I don't know what position you're in but giving your opinions on these things when not asked is usually not appreciated. Next time maybe talk to him first?
TheSiraffe 16
That's kinda like telling your coach how y'all should practice. You don't do it
frankmz 17
So what you are saying is that coaches always have their players practicing in a safe and productive manner? Yeah. Since your reference was about sports, I'm wondering if you have had a job or work somewhere?
TheSiraffe 16
I do work lol. My point is that you shouldn't tell your superior how to do their job
kingdomgirl94 29
It sounds like 29 works in a preschool.
frankmz 17
Hey op, follow the work procedures unless it is not safe. Then can you actually stop right away and work until it's safe. But if your suggestions were to help improve productivity, I suggest you keep your ideas written very well and save them for when you become a boss, then if you know for sure that your ideas are great, don't give them away, especially to a p.o.s. boss like the one you have.
Roxas_hearts 27
Holy shit man, how many down votes will it take to drive you away?
GrumpyGrinch 23
You will see your ideas implemented. What you will not see is your rise.
frankmz 17
You mean raise? Yeah, it happens a lot, management puts a suggestion box or ask for suggestions from their employees to help make improvements. Isn't that why they hire bosses and supervisors and managers? Sometimes shit like this just isn't funny anymore, it gets offensive.
frankmz 17
Hey #3, I don't know where you have worked, but most places, when a new boss arrives, it usually means changes. A boss comes in with the mentality of" I'm going to make this company/business greater/better." And many times when there is a meeting to introduce said boss/supervisor/Manager, he or she will introduce him/her self and one of two things. 1. Either come off as friendly, "We're a family, let's work together to make this the best company it can be, or 2. Intimidating, " I'm the new Boss/Supervisor and I run a tight ship, I will be keeping a close eye on employee performance, attendance, punctuality, if you don't meet specified requirements you will no longer be working here. Ha. I laugh because I know what's up. I always tell new workers, "bro's and girls or ladies, if you show up for work on time, are not absent unless you're sick, and work in a productive manner, you have and will have a job." Simple as that.
yerawizardlizzy 27
Dude you are reading waaaaaaaay too far into this FML. Don't fall with that reach, now.
zman938 8
You're reading too far into literally everything. Most things you say don't make much sense. Can you please do us all a favor and stop commenting? You are annoying many of us.
littlekellilee 45
I would love to see your suggestions. Chances are you were looking at your situation from the perspective from the employee. Your boss might not think there's enough issue to make changes. As well, he likely knows more about financial and resource budgeting, talk between higher management about priorities relating to this, and even current happiness levels of employees. If you want to show you care about workplace happiness, don't just try to fix what you think is wrong. Instead, have a conversation work your boss about what you've noticed.
frankmz 17
Sorry to disagree with you, but saying that a boss knows more about finances isn't always the case. Remember, bosses also have bosses. And the higher positions held by general managers and vice presidents, sometimes not even they deal with finance$$$. They deal with numbers. For example, this is our goal, what can we do to reach this goal. That message is most likely said in a meeting with all of management, the big gm's and vp's, they're not going to lose sleep over this, lower management might, but not as much as the employees of the company, anyone who isn't a part of management. They will get worked to reach these goals. Really messed up most of the time.
Snickers4 16
You look chill in your profile pic but you sound crazy as **** so please keep your opinions to yourself :) have a nice day
frankmz 17
Exactly. You would understand too if you were taken for granted and witnessed so many incidents of management disrespecting their own co-workers. Myself included when I was younger.
frankmz 17
I wish op wasn't anonymous to talk to that person, but unfortunately I can't talk to anonymous. Damn it, I hope this is not that anonymous group.
Kitouran 30
You are seriously annoying, man.