Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML
Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML
Today, my boss sent a message to a coworker saying, "We're putting all of you back on the phones because one of you can't stop watching Netflix so corporate thinks you guys don't do anything." That person was me. Everyone's pissed at me now. FML
Today, as I have lately, I’ve been feeling like my boss finds any excuse to be upset with me and tell me how I’m doing wrong, when most times it’s just so stupid there’s really no point in it. For reference, I work in long term care. I messaged her and she got upset with me because she saw my name pop up and overreacted. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out for doing some random web browsing while waiting for some documents I needed to arrive, then went back to his desk and went on Facebook, thinking I couldn't see. FML
Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML
Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML
Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML
Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML
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Top comments
strokesie 23
If people knew how to language we wouldn't have this problem
pjsr 33
You could've helped it, but didn't. Now you know better than to correct the boss on non-essential matters. Use this knowledge at your next job.
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Comments (101)
Zelphoric 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sounds like you want her gone. Hopefully she's less distracting in the future :/
AmexBlack 24
I read somewhere that the word 'literally' is *literally* the most misused word in the English language. Even newspaper headlines and articles misuse the word, which is pretty shocking in my opinion. The word that 99.9% of the time people mean to use, is actually 'figuratively'. Random and off topic I know, but just thought it was an interesting fact :)
ironichalibut 24
That's literally the best fact-statistic combo I've seen all day
LuckBeNimble 19
16: I was under the impression people did it on purpose; or at least, I know I do. maybe I don't want to believe people don't know the difference. /:
Flowtastic 16
23 - I'd beg to differ. I've literally seen more people misuse the proper "your" than literally....
EphMi 5
OP sounds like a total ass. correcting your boss on trivial matters and saying she's distracting you from actual work? Somebody needs to learn his place on the food chain!
conman531 23
Now you wish she literally was dying
Zelphoric 25
A bit harsh... There's a difference between finding someone annoying and wanting them dead
IloveToLaugh143 21
See, some people blow hyperbolic phrases way out of proportion. Not everything is to be taken literally.
conman531 23
Yeah true. He wishes she was literally quiet
kaablam 17
If you want to get real technical, she is literally dying, as are we all. Maybe not as quickly as you hoped though.
Demig0d6 14
Third!
strokesie 23
If people knew how to language we wouldn't have this problem
Zelphoric 25
Please teach me how to language, I'm quite interested.
hellnosucka 27
aaah yes, the art of languaging is a tricky one indeed.
elephantsarecute 16
Actually, the informal and hyperbolic use of the word "literally" is acknowledged in the Oxford English Dictionary, so it really isn't that incorrect.
Jakob2255 12
you make absolutely no sense.
Oceanborn_fml 24
As is 'would of', that doesn't make it any better though.
cryssycakesx3 23
do you even English?
Dlzq 22
lern2engris
communisttaco 16
How do you words?!
ladoom 23
Stop being sucha brat people say things like this when they are excited etc. It really is not the end of the world!
mageepaigeee44 15
I kinda agree? I had to make a conscious effort to stop saying the word "literally". I knew I wasn't "literally starving to death" but people get into bad habits with trend words like that. I'm willing to bet her boss knows the definition of a literal situation. Basically OP, you deserve it. It's just a word.
cryssycakesx3 23
but it's hard when a lot people use it like that every chance they get.
ldkindasucks 6
How is it hard to keep your mouth shut and not be a pretentious douchebag? It's not hard at all considering the fact that people uses 'literally' wrong all the time, especially if that person is your boss. There's never a real time to be pretentious, but there are preferred situations. It literally wasn't this one.
Vegetarian27 24
It's not pretentious, it's using the English language correctly. The boss is a dumbass.
swplphlsgois13 9
She must literally hate you. Wait...
JBChristian 47
Wait, what?
pjsr 33
You could've helped it, but didn't. Now you know better than to correct the boss on non-essential matters. Use this knowledge at your next job.
badminton 14
The boss should have been expecting it if she was going to be annoying like this though. Not to mention OP has to do his work, and she got in the way.
TimysterGates 15
Oh language, if only people knew how beautiful you are. When used correctly that is.
ArmyDoc 11
Oh condescending assholes, if only you understood the value of humility.
persianninja 23
#34 made my day
Flowtastic 16
Excuse me Miss you didn't capitalize Language as it should have been in that statement. Sincerely, "p"ot
communisttaco 16
#58 Language isn't capitalized unless its the start of a sentence.
chuka81 27
Perhaps you were just trying to be honest. But what did you expect her to do after you pointed her faults out; give you hugs and kisses?
goodwithoutgods 20
Rule #1 of life: Don't correct your bosses.
MrConcise 35
Rule #2 of life: Make a list of all the times you wish you could have called your boss out on stupid shit like this in case you win the lottery and get to tell them to shove it.
kaablam 17
I thought rule #1 was more like say, I don't know, breathing.