Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of when I was a kid. A few minutes into my fifth birthday party, I excused myself and went to grab some snacks for everyone. I returned to realize I had recorded porn over my family videos. FML
Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML
Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
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Top comments
suppressed08 2
Good times...Goood times...
Serec 0
ahem, I watch **** on my iPod all night.
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Comments (158)
Jessi_the_sexii 0
well I agree but idk I just go with **** is 4 guys haha
krissytina 6
Lol whatever works I guess
kaylernes 0
I'm a girl I watch ****. but I used to think only guys watched. it but it is girls also. but they usually keep it quiet. u know.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
that's y I'm saying OP is most likley a guy
krissytina 6
Yeah cause guys are the only ones stupid enough to get caught......takes them longer to put their stuff away and they're alot slower at turning the computer screen off
GregDaBossMaster 0
...:o
krissytina 6
Don't give me that, you know it's true
krissytina 6
I wasn't talking about me, I'm actually smart enough to know to close the browser. I was talking from experience......I've caught my roommate plently of times and the first thing he does is shut off the monitor. So please think before you speak, ok thanks
krissytina 6
I don't believe I said all guys. You might want to try reading again. Why exactly are you getting so defensive?
krissytina 6
Yeah like I'm going to take a 15 year old seriously.....you still have some growing up to do hun. And P.S you sound a little gay with the whole sexist crap. Get over it
krissytina 6
I'm not really being defensive I'm just stating the obvious....that's all. You know this is getting a bit childish even for you so I'm just going to stop and call a truce. To tired to keep this going
krissytina 6
Haha yeah I'm bitchy I can admit that but hey I'm a Canadian girl and half newfie so I guess it's to expected of me
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for having a birthday. YDI for having relatives, ESPECIALLY a mother. SHAME on you. YDI for getting caught.
yolie_fml 0
WIN!
randomlettrrs 8
you are so right
mcrluverchick 9
u always have epic win comments :)
kaylernes 0
so true. my cousin used to watch **** on my pc when I was living with my dad and i'd go in there and be like what you doing and ud see it then he'd say nothing. lmao
FMLfailure 0
you know what you should ask for your birthday a ipod touch you can just go watch **** there like the rest of us.
oxoashleeoxo 6
ahaha. Watching **** while your mom was home? Smooth, OP.
xgetxbentx 13
you should probably do that with your door locked or after everyone goes to bed, just an idea thought.
soccerguy77 0
Or in the washroom with the fan on so no one can hear;)
misfitSuperStar 0
Could've been worse...she could've caught you spankin' it to ****... Just sayin' YES, girls do watch ****. I have for years. Mostly with a guy, but occasionally alone. Nothing like learning some new tricks for my man!! ;)
lawnchairgeneral 1
who gives a shit, who gives a ****