Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not, and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bi-curious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML
Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML
Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother insisted she's not homophobic, but however people only 'turn gay' because they were sexually abused, or are 'making it up to get attention'. She informed me I'm the former and my girlfriend is the latter. Uh huh. FML
Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
Today, at a mall, my mom accused me of lying about being gay, just because I said I don't like shopping. FML
Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML
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Top comments
chocogatto12 3
Psychics are frauds. They only tell you what you want to hear
AdamGD 0
Wow... Your mom is a freak (no offense). Seriously? She goes to a phychic to find out if you're gay?? Even though you said you werent? I wonder what she would have done if the phychic said you were straight? Would she have consulted a nuerologist??
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Comments (175)
Barbarossa_fml 0
I think that's a hint that your mom is retarded...
Leoplum 0
So... ARE you gay?
roundkickkid 0
Wow his job seems great, make up random bs and you get paid! Sucks for you.
Sacrow 0
Then don't act so gay around her, get caught having sex with a girl, if you can.
joshlavey09 0
at least youre not REALLY a ******. that would be a true FML
kecii 0
LMAO moms can be so paranoid sumtimes...but mayb u act gay or sumthin.....
Starsmydog 0
Your mom sounds like the type of woman who wants grandchildren like asap and the fact she hasn't gotten one is making her nervous? I dunno. I think that shit is so ******* retarded. I don't think your mom is an idiot.. I just think she has to much free time on her hand. She needs a hobby.
hellosies 0
Maybe you're in denial. ;)
kira1kira 0
psychics r retarded, and so r the ppl who go to them
metro_mello 0
Hello My name is Jasmin. I have come tto shove a big fist of stfu down your throat. Not all physcics are fake. A lot are but there are few that are real. We have a family friend that is physicc. legitimately physcic. She guess my friends name who had died without me telling her a word. ive never met her before but she also guessed my name. Explain that shit huh :)
Dragonite1414 0
She knew that because she was a family friend.
ZiggyMorrison 0
get a ******* from a hot blonde chick with ATLEAST 36 C's in your living room while shes there than blow a big load on that chicks face like its a Jackson Pollock painting