Today, my girlfriend's husband heard us having sex, but he's so naive, he believed her when she said we were just watching porn. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML
Today, I walked in on my uncle watching porn. I realized that it was porn featuring my boyfriend, and he told me that the girl in it was "just a friend". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML
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Top comments
FireMars 14
That poor man, honestly. To cheat on him is disrespectful, but to have sex while he's at home is even more so. He deserves better. The guy knows, he just doesn't want to lose what he has; even if he is been made a joke out of.
Itsheragain 9
thats terrible...your karma is coming my friend.
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Comments (19)
horsebabe86 11
You are a horrible person!
Miss_Red 18
Im going to hope that you and your spouse are in an 'open' type situation. If not, woah. Not cool
Tara Vilk 12
just gonna say, he probably knows more than he is letting on but would rather share his wife than not have her at all. he's probably afraid if he brings it up the relationship will end. this is just sad, for him. I hope you recognize you are hurting someone in this process.
Alai 14
FYL!!
P DarklyKira 14
i don't know about you but you better talk to the husband and make him understand so he move on from the hoe. that's the least you could do