Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
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Top comments
gideeupp 9
Some things in life you can't un-see. This is one of them.
flockz 20
haha piece of wood? she was already being blinded by one.
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Comments (123)
annihil8or 15
Real smart dad u have
skyorpia101 4
Hmmm some picture memories are a blessing and others are potentially scarring :O
ThatLooksSticky 16
A sign is easy to make, cheap, and very effective.
kaylapple 1
what a sight!
a_nutritionist 10
lucky guy...
gibby1235 6
Other than the fact that you might be mentally scarred forever, you'll get over it. Everyone has seen one of their parents naked at least once, but since your a girl i can't argue that it would be a bit more awkward to see your dad completely naked while getting business done. Maybe y'all should invest in a new lock?
Furry_dude 6
.......maybe you should fix the lock?
babyfireball77 14
What the hell are you saying?!
maddie2015 0
Awkward...
TheHolyLama 0
Ugh! That's disgusting, feel bad 4 ya. Don't people start stripping when they're actually IN the bathroom though?