Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
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Top comments
gideeupp 9
Some things in life you can't un-see. This is one of them.
flockz 20
haha piece of wood? she was already being blinded by one.
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Comments (123)
kleider1 9
Why yes.Yes you are.
monagro 22
You're family, you see each other naked all the time I'd presume...
catnip1997 0
why didn't you whipe?
WOLFEYES72 2
That you are 11... That you are.
wriptidez 0
put a sign on the door that says if door is shut knock First
hazardoussmiles9 22
It'd be funny if he burst in yelling "THIS IS SPARTA!"
ihatemekay 6
That's a nice view of life?
lolmeli7 0
he likes to go take a shower loud and proud xD
justbigbs 6
That's so fu**ed up and YOUR A GIRL..... the horror, keep the light on when you sleep you might have nightmares. should of barricaded the door... somehow.
Mithylove 13
Just go buy one of those do it yourself locks and borrow one of your dads power tools. Problem solved.