Today, for Christmas, I got the 3-month anniversary of a constant cold and cough, my period, plus the diagnosis that I have been secretly left-handed for 40 years, and need to switch sides now if I want to unfuck my physical and mental health. What I still don't have are decent boots - I've been hunting them for 3 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my period has given to me 4 giant zits, 3 screaming shits, 2 stomach ulcers, and a fever blister on my lips. A few days until Christmas and the gifts keep coming. FML
Today, I received the gifts of my period, diarrhea, severe dizziness and double vision, and an ant infestation in my home. These were followed by the glaring absence of any gifts from my husband. Happy 40th to me. FML
Today, I spent all year avoiding COVID, colds, and flu. On December 30th, I caught the worst cold of my life. I’ll be ringing in the new year in bed, with tissues as my only company. FML
Today, it's 3 days before Christmas and my first day of holidays. Today is also the first day I have been sick all year. Hello tonsillitis, goodbye fun. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in months because we live in different countries, is coming to stay with me. I've been the picture of health for months, but today I woke up with my period, a terrible cold, and tooth pain from that root canal my dentist told me I didn't need a few years ago. FML
Today, for the first time in years, my period is early. I woke up at 5 a.m. with the worst cramps I've ever had in my life. Medicine isn't helping. It's literally so bad I feel like I want to throw up. It's fucking Christmas but hey, it wouldn't be 2022 if my garbage pile of a body wasn't ruining something for me. FML
Today, I’m currently battling a cold that caused me to call into work yesterday and, as of this morning, I’ve also started my period and have the most painful cramps ever. Good thing I have the day off from work. FML
Today, it’s been 4 months since I haven't been able to walk properly, two months I’ve been waiting for a doctor’s appointment, and one day since I found out that appointment never actually got made by the online booking system. But hey, who needs a left foot? FML
Today, I woke up with my period. At least I'm getting into the Christmas spirit with red and green shorts, right? FML
Today, I'm going on three weeks of unexplainable and minor, but noticeable ailments. The doctor says it's just my seasonal allergies acting up a ton, which was somewhat comforting, but it just won't stop, even when I remain indoors. I'm otherwise a very healthy person, so I think I have a reason to be worried now. FML
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Top comments
Dr_Alex 10
This is one of the most random ending to a story I've ever heard in my life.
Hangryko 32
Get checked for Long COVID. Best of luck with everything.
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Comments (6)
Hangryko 32
Get checked for Long COVID. Best of luck with everything.
Dr_Alex 10
This is one of the most random ending to a story I've ever heard in my life.
Wadlaen 24
I understand. It can be challenging to find decent left-handed boots. Best of luck!
sirrubberduckie 37
The boots are the surprise twist that no one saw coming. Not a very good twist, but I guess that's life.
GoogieWithers 25
Others have advised for the health part, so I will advise for the boots. Identify what the boots are primarily going to be used for. Hiking,walking, work, or leisure. Then, figure out your top budget. Read the reviews and try to get the best pair for your money. I know some work boots can be worn everyday and can last ages. Same with army boots.
Justkidding100 41
If you used your right hand for 40 years you're not secretly left handed. That's not how that works. How could this possibly affect your mental health?