Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML
Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML
Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML
Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML
Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML
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Top comments
bearstyle22 11
You dare live a healthy lifestyle in my town. Thats it, ticket.
Steffi3 40
I hope he didn't give you too much trouble. Keep up the running OP!
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Comments (70)
teresa96706 29
At least the cop cared to make sure you're safe :)
1dvs_bstd 41
I don't think it ended well for OP.
Mr23 9
There are 2 ways to interpret the cop's question. Like #1, I think he was asking if OP is being chased by a criminal (rather than being one.)
jqmalang 17
Well... it was the opposite of that from how the cops took it hahaha
myoukei 31
I don't know about that. As a person of color i can't read an fml like this and assume the cop had the best intentions....
_Dirty_Dan_ 11
So basically Just cuz ur black u assume all cops are racist and all they want to do is oppress black people
Johnnycake23 42
They aren't usually so nice to stop a random person minding their own business but hey whatever!
Steffi3 40
I hope he didn't give you too much trouble. Keep up the running OP!
annarcheer 19
So I'm guessing he arrested you or something op? I'm sorry maybe they will figure out you did not do anything wrong
Roskie 16
Running is nowhere near sufficient evidence to accuse someone of breaking the law. OP doesn't have to prove anything.
Johnnycake23 42
This isn't North Korea you can do things outside without fear of harassment.
emeraldisle 30
I hope you've learned your lesson OP. Next time walk.
nataliewby 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What do you mean "learned your lesson"? Many people run to get in shape. If OP wants to run it's not against the law and is a very healthy way to exercise. The cop was just being an ass, so I don't understand what lesson is to be learned.
bearstyle22 11
she might be joking. orr possibly trolling. Not tooo sure haha
BBlah 26
I took what #4 said as a joke
Retaheki 27
I hope you learned your lesson, #4. If you're making a sarcastic comment, add a smiley face or make it obvious. (EX1: I hope you learned your lesson, OP :]) (EX2: C'mon OP, you know running is outlawed.)
emeraldisle 30
I was being sarcastic.
saffy66 34
I guess he's just doing his job; you must know most joggers are lunatics and like to risk heatstroke every time they run!
abNormal62 23
Maybe he'd miss the fresh donut alert announcement across the please broadband and he was hoping you could help guide him
bearstyle22 11
You dare live a healthy lifestyle in my town. Thats it, ticket.
Johnnycake23 42
Now you better drive home or else boy!
ma12r 22
Yikes OP. That kinda sucks but hopefully that doesn't happen again if you choose to go running again.
Enslaved 38
Were you wearing a ski mask and dressed all in black?
wtffml1979 22
Should've said "trying to beat you to the donut shop!"