Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, I noticed that my 80-year-old mother has gone through 50+ bottles of my home-made wine. She only moved in with me a month ago. And now I have no wine. FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
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Top comments
xoCOURTNIEox 0
wow cool son you got there :)
urdirtyolduncle 15
good man!
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Comments (212)
Sirin_fml 47
I'm not so sure reposting it is a smart move, bruh. If the FML doesn't move you or tug your heart strings until you experience several orgasms in rapid succession, then please quietly move on to the next one.
whyteejr 0
lol wow how old
caleismyth 5
future alcoholic of America?
lmaoatall 6
oh yes all the alcholics here in amaerica, just taken over. there on our streets in our sewers, passed out in our front lawns. for god sakes, they serve booz to our elementry level kids now, oh , they start so young these days... god bless their inebriated little hearts
olivia_r 0
Your sarcasm doesn't do much justice to Americans when it looks like you were drunk writing that comment.
lmaoatall 6
actually I don't drink and yes it IS sarcasm
olivia_r 0
That's why I said your sarcasm. Please refer to the comment above.
lmaoatall 6
ok let me get it straight, it was sarcasm. exactly. maybe some people might have taken offence to " another alchoholic American- if it wasn't meant to be a slap to Americans directly, he could have said another alchoholic . but he had to add American , which to me , was a direct hit. to set the record straight, no not all Americans are alcholics- infact most I know are casual drinkers-meanwhile my sarcastic remark stands- now enough of you, your waisting my time- I'll take my sarcasm to other posts where they will be appreciated for the true wonders that they are. now, good day to you.
olivia_r 0
I don't think you get what I was saying. Good day sir. I said good day!
lmaoatall 6
I don't think u were getting where I was comeing from.. but there's hope for you, honestly- I love your good day sir, good day. I am being serious about that
olivia_r 0
Haha. I knew exactly what you were talking about. You were mad because the person said all Americans were alcoholics, I was just telling you you looked drunk with all of your grammatical and spelling errors in your sarcastic post, in which I thank you for. Next time try a little harder please.
lmaoatall 6
you you. you, you no thankyou
kaykay9080 5
Ikr
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I am inclined to agree with olivia_r. Your sarcasm was quite obvious but it was canceled out by the fact that your post looks like you were drunk when you wrote it. The fact that you managed to spell America wrong, in a post that was supposed to be defending American's, makes it even worse.
Autoshot 9
lmaoatall, reading your comments was worse to me than listening to fingernails scrape across a chalkboard. You Lose.
olivia_r 0
Then why would you read it 161? I think your the one that lost here for wasting your own time, and thank you Mr. Hamster guy. :)
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Americans not American's, auto correct is nobody's friend. Sorry about that. olivia_r I am not a mister and it is a gerbil not a hamster, but you're welcome.
olivia_r 0
My apologies.
DocBastard 40
"Haha! I said something that broke the FML rulez and some dum mod modded it! I think I'll repost it. No one will notice! LOLOLOLOLOOLOOOOOOOOOOOL!!"
Mindtrap 0
^^^C&H FTW^^^
mosquito19 14
getting ready for prison life
lmaoatall 6
ohhh op , just be gratefull that jethro isn't running moonshine, yet?
taelorrae011 0
hahaha! funny kid(:
zach1012 0
that sucks
TomFeltonFan 0
you are the very defintion of genius, ily boners(: