Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15-minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding and was seated at a table with a bunch of strangers. To break the ice, I told a funny story about my dog. Turns out one of the guests is an animal behaviorist and spent the next hour explaining how I’ve been raising him all wrong. Thanks for the unsolicited advice during cocktail hour. FML
Today, at my job at a pet store, my boss told me to go outside and hand out flyers. I saw a man sitting on a bench and walked up, saying, "Hi! Do you have a pet?" He teared up and said, "I just put her down this morning." FML
Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when a car slowed down, and a guy leaned out of the window, then yelled, "Hey, nice dog!" Naturally, I turned to reply, "Thank you!" only to find that the guy had no intention of complimenting me at all. He had been talking to the dog the entire time. FML
Today, I waved at a dog through a car window because it looked pleased to see me. The dog wasn't looking at me. Its owner thought I was waving at him and got out to have a conversation. We talked for ten awkward minutes because he thought I was hitting on him. FML
Today, I was late for a video conference with my boss. As I frantically tried to fix my messy hair, my dog thought it was the perfect time to play fetch. I ended up joining the meeting with a squeaky toy in hand and an appearance that would make a scarecrow look put together. My boss found it hilarious, but I'm pretty sure my career aspirations are now in the doghouse. FML
Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML
Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!" Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML
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Top comments
amberita28 0
So you had a whole 15 minute conversation about your pet grooming business and you didn't bother asking her any questions? Especially important ones like, "So, what kind of dog do you own?"
10_4Franky 0
At least she was polite and let you finish your spiel. She wasn't being a bitch.
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Comments (116)
coldspider3 6
now all u gotta do is convince her to get a dog :)
PassTheDutch 0
thats what I was wondering.
tabby312 0
haha itS funny how she was listening to that the whole time
kaileigh10 2
Next time your opening line should be, "Do u have a dog?" You deserved it
GobStopper21 0
ur pic is ridic
rocketeer_97 1
ridic...?
missy76518 0
solicitors never listen to begin with. Then when u say no. they still blabbing and talking. ask would u like to learn about my grooming business before blabbing on. if all asked there would be a yes or no and in and out that quick!
LibraLove 0
she probably just wanted to hear how good u were st your speech that's all.
franniedottp 8
because in the dog grooming business, they need to know exactly the length of your dogs hair/fur so they can fix it up to a precise perfection? I have no idea. I'm confused about this FML...
instantmusic 4
It doesn't sound like a very good spiel if you didnt at least get that little piece information from them. You should have simply engaged in a light, simple, informative conversation that seamlessly weaved in the information from your "speech" in. Even if she doesnt have a dog, its good to get the word out, and appearing more organic in your approach might be the difference between "Ah, well this nice dog groomer just opened shop, I was talking to her earlier, she seems really nice." and "Theres this new dog groomer that just opened shop...she seems really stuck up and weird."
Miss_Michaela 10
Your comment is.. Long to say the least. I kinda fazed out on 'Spiel'. Sorry about that.
rocketeer_97 1
cool story bro ^
deviable 9
why'd you bother commenting then? other than to be a dick.
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
lol haha awkward
straz123 2
Bazinga.