Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15-minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding and was seated at a table with a bunch of strangers. To break the ice, I told a funny story about my dog. Turns out one of the guests is an animal behaviorist and spent the next hour explaining how I’ve been raising him all wrong. Thanks for the unsolicited advice during cocktail hour. FML
Today, at my job at a pet store, my boss told me to go outside and hand out flyers. I saw a man sitting on a bench and walked up, saying, "Hi! Do you have a pet?" He teared up and said, "I just put her down this morning." FML
Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when a car slowed down, and a guy leaned out of the window, then yelled, "Hey, nice dog!" Naturally, I turned to reply, "Thank you!" only to find that the guy had no intention of complimenting me at all. He had been talking to the dog the entire time. FML
Today, I waved at a dog through a car window because it looked pleased to see me. The dog wasn't looking at me. Its owner thought I was waving at him and got out to have a conversation. We talked for ten awkward minutes because he thought I was hitting on him. FML
Today, I was late for a video conference with my boss. As I frantically tried to fix my messy hair, my dog thought it was the perfect time to play fetch. I ended up joining the meeting with a squeaky toy in hand and an appearance that would make a scarecrow look put together. My boss found it hilarious, but I'm pretty sure my career aspirations are now in the doghouse. FML
Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML
Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!" Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML
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Top comments
amberita28 0
So you had a whole 15 minute conversation about your pet grooming business and you didn't bother asking her any questions? Especially important ones like, "So, what kind of dog do you own?"
10_4Franky 0
At least she was polite and let you finish your spiel. She wasn't being a bitch.
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Comments (116)
Emileerzz 1
A 15 minute speech for dog grooming? How'd it go? "yeaahh.. I groom dogs.. and they get clean.... then they uh, smell good. for like a day..mhmm"
jhayes88 0
wow that's funny!
Muffin_Tops_fml 2
Maybe she has a cat?
irobert 0
YDI for grooming dogs in the first place, get a real job
SCREAM4meeee 0
YDI for saying "potential client."
CateXOX 0
23- But then throughout the 'speech' OP would have asked questions about the client's dog, or lack of dog in this case.
missmaryb 0
Why would you go through a 15 minute speech not even knowing if she had a dog? You're the one looking for a client. She wasn't looking for dog groomer.
DreaminOfMusic 0
well, did you just start talking before she could even say anything? if that's the case then this is totally your fault, OP
lamiaoccisor 0
shorter pitch for your business
bebop228 0
how old r u