Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15-minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding and was seated at a table with a bunch of strangers. To break the ice, I told a funny story about my dog. Turns out one of the guests is an animal behaviorist and spent the next hour explaining how I’ve been raising him all wrong. Thanks for the unsolicited advice during cocktail hour. FML
Today, at my job at a pet store, my boss told me to go outside and hand out flyers. I saw a man sitting on a bench and walked up, saying, "Hi! Do you have a pet?" He teared up and said, "I just put her down this morning." FML
Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when a car slowed down, and a guy leaned out of the window, then yelled, "Hey, nice dog!" Naturally, I turned to reply, "Thank you!" only to find that the guy had no intention of complimenting me at all. He had been talking to the dog the entire time. FML
Today, I waved at a dog through a car window because it looked pleased to see me. The dog wasn't looking at me. Its owner thought I was waving at him and got out to have a conversation. We talked for ten awkward minutes because he thought I was hitting on him. FML
Today, I was late for a video conference with my boss. As I frantically tried to fix my messy hair, my dog thought it was the perfect time to play fetch. I ended up joining the meeting with a squeaky toy in hand and an appearance that would make a scarecrow look put together. My boss found it hilarious, but I'm pretty sure my career aspirations are now in the doghouse. FML
Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML
Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!" Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML
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Top comments
amberita28 0
So you had a whole 15 minute conversation about your pet grooming business and you didn't bother asking her any questions? Especially important ones like, "So, what kind of dog do you own?"
10_4Franky 0
At least she was polite and let you finish your spiel. She wasn't being a bitch.
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Comments (116)
deviable 9
a speech for this sort of thing should stay concise and spark interest, not be long and boring.
Deitz123 2
At least she was nice enough.
LilaBear 2
Chances are she tried to tell you about 4 times but you kept speaking and she couldn't get a word in edgewise without downright interrupting. I hate it when people stop me in the street and try to sell me something and talk over the top of me.
PhillJFry 0
get a clue she likes u or she would of blown u off
DaminW3 0
lol, a few weeks ago I was at the Mall with a friend and there were these two people standing there for this child cancer trust fund. My Friend got talking to the chick that was there, and why he had to call his Bank and stuff I got talking to the guy that was there. He was pretty cool, then this guy walked in and the Fund guy asked him if he'd like to chat about sponsoring their company and all he got in reply was "NOOOOO!" and I yelled out "YOU NEED SOME TISSUES FOR THOSE ISSUIES BRO?!" My reply from this guy was "SHOVE THOSE TISSUES UP YOUR ASS!" I never knew people could be so rude.
KraigKasala 3
you deserved it for having a 15 minute long speech..
imnotanybody 2
why did you have a 15 min speech?
skeletcn 21
it happens in the business. shrug it off, op!
zoelog 10
ydi. you probably didn't give her a chance. maybe you should start your spiel with do you have a dog.