Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15-minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding and was seated at a table with a bunch of strangers. To break the ice, I told a funny story about my dog. Turns out one of the guests is an animal behaviorist and spent the next hour explaining how I’ve been raising him all wrong. Thanks for the unsolicited advice during cocktail hour. FML
Today, at my job at a pet store, my boss told me to go outside and hand out flyers. I saw a man sitting on a bench and walked up, saying, "Hi! Do you have a pet?" He teared up and said, "I just put her down this morning." FML
Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when a car slowed down, and a guy leaned out of the window, then yelled, "Hey, nice dog!" Naturally, I turned to reply, "Thank you!" only to find that the guy had no intention of complimenting me at all. He had been talking to the dog the entire time. FML
Today, I waved at a dog through a car window because it looked pleased to see me. The dog wasn't looking at me. Its owner thought I was waving at him and got out to have a conversation. We talked for ten awkward minutes because he thought I was hitting on him. FML
Today, I was late for a video conference with my boss. As I frantically tried to fix my messy hair, my dog thought it was the perfect time to play fetch. I ended up joining the meeting with a squeaky toy in hand and an appearance that would make a scarecrow look put together. My boss found it hilarious, but I'm pretty sure my career aspirations are now in the doghouse. FML
Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML
Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!" Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML
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Top comments
amberita28 0
So you had a whole 15 minute conversation about your pet grooming business and you didn't bother asking her any questions? Especially important ones like, "So, what kind of dog do you own?"
10_4Franky 0
At least she was polite and let you finish your spiel. She wasn't being a bitch.
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Comments (116)
babycakess10 0
well maybe you didn't give her the chance to say something and she didn't want to be rude by interrupting. but makes for a good practice speech..?
Garytt 0
cats need grooming too
stevenmx86 8
Ydi I am all for small businesses but be quick and to the point at all times... If she had questions she'd ask them doesn't need to be bored by a speech... I'd have let you go too just to waste your time
perdix 31
Why the **** is a speech about dig grooming 15 minutes long? Did you go into the details of squeezing their anal gland? On the plus side, she was probably hot for you. You could have spoken about anything and she was getting wet just watching your mouth move;)
babycakess10 0
maybe you could go to his groomers cuz your a horn dog. not everything is sex related.
perdix 31
Cuz I don't like getting my anal gland squeezed.
OhSnap_NoWay 0
wow she doesn't have a dog, yet she still listened to you talk about dogs for 15 mins f her life
s3xymoma 1
maybe she was looking to get a dog. n wanted to learn about it
CitrusGirl 0
Maybe you should start your pitch with "do you own a dog?"
Inspired22 11
A fifteen minute spiel is way too much. Anyone who has worked in sales knows that. I am a dog owner myself, and I wouldn't want to hear you go on for fifteen minutes. But yeah, I hate it when people let you give your spiel and waste your time when they aren't interested at all. Sorry!
benderbot19 0
stop scooting on my new carpet!
FreebirdIII 1
Should have gave her a wink, and told her you would take care of that cat!