Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
Today, I accidentally touched someone's boobs. It was a man. And I noticed that they were bigger than mine. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML
Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML
Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
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Top comments
faildood 0
if your GM is a guy..expect a pay raise
XOfiestypixie 0
They're from Australia, silly. Why would they go to the US when Thailand is so much closer?
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Comments (95)
MrAdventure 1
I guess you never heard of locking the door?
BoyMac 0
HA HA HA! Great...
olisykes_ 0
i'm gonna go have a wank now.
Cordeh 0
I dont need the you deserved it or the that sucks buttons. i need a like button.
qwerty123456789 0
Dude that's even funnier than the FML.
unruly1 1
without pictures I can't believe it.
NormanRider14 0
wow lucky were they soft? how big were they?
AntiChrist7 0
Sweet
JC193 0
Agreed, LMFAO @ 16
Bethanynel813 0
Your fault 100 percent.