Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
Today, I accidentally touched someone's boobs. It was a man. And I noticed that they were bigger than mine. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML
Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML
Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
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Top comments
faildood 0
if your GM is a guy..expect a pay raise
XOfiestypixie 0
They're from Australia, silly. Why would they go to the US when Thailand is so much closer?
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Comments (95)
SimpleSimon 0
Sounds like the opening scenes of a poorly made **** flick.
feminist19 0
sounds like a sexual harrassment case is pending, what were you thinking
Ohnothingreally 0
Femenist19-The OP is a girl. The GM walked in and probably thought there was girl on girl action going on. She could have gotten fired for that. But it wasn't sexual. The co-worker invited OP to feel the unnaturally firm texture of the breast implants.
feminist19 0
it can be sexual between two women, have you heard of the whole homosexuality thing?
thequickredofox 0
@feminist - reading skills? The OP was invited to feel her co-worker's breasts, nothing sexual in it. Seriously, who hasn't had a feel of a friend's fake boobs? Maybe we're just more relaxed here in Oz ;)
Intellectualist 0
sounds like you're a feminist, I'm female and I hate your kind. We're as equal as we're going to get. Men don't get shitloads of maternity leave from work for having babies. So, in conclusion, the whole of woman kind deserves it, for having to pop out kids. Oh did I mention, I'm a troll foldy roll :)
Greyst0ne 0
YDI for pda in the workplace
stereofidelica 0
Absolute YDI. Touching someone's breasts is just plain crossing the line in a workplace, even if you both are okay with it, it's simply not appropriate. I'd love to know what the hell you were thinking.
Ohnothingreally 0
The co-worker told her to.
DameGreyWulf 1
Right, 41, but that doesn't mean it wasn't inappropriate. That's why she said "even if you're both okay with it." It's still inappropriate work behaviour, and there is something called a bathroom. ... Don't know what the co-worker was thinking, really. First day back and she has to go to OP like "HOLY SHIT TOUCH MY BOOBS"? If they are such good friends, she couldn't see her beforehand and say it?
jessxoxo28 5
wow, thats a smart thing to do at work
hbgoddard 0
...Threesome?
DeathShad0 1
Oh my. That just gave me many LULZ
iFruit 0
Don't worry OP, there's help for people like you.
sc27 0
Your co-worker was a girl right?... please tell me it was a girl.
mystical_child 6
#44 re-read it. "my coworker just came back from Thailand with big new breast implants." how many guys do you know, go to Thailand to get breast implants? And also OP continued on to say, "SHE told me.." ... Read carefully.... :)
drimpossible 0
I think I just came