Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
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Top comments
Il_Maestro 6
Is your wife a Mudblood?
mgkgambino 3
He got out of the nursing home a little too early?
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Comments (105)
Ibeatmyself 3
maybe ur grandpa and dad play for the other team
technolove 7
well, now that i think about it, if you really wanted a kid couldn't you just adopt? i mean, there are alot of people in this world .__.
gottageek 17
Kind of conflicted on this one. If it's your first kid fyl and they're dicks. If it's you 5th, stop. For the love of kittens stop.
KimmiAndRonny_fml 2
The only right thing to say when someone announces a pregnancy is "congratulations!" said with a smile. My AND my husbands families were jerks like that too when we got pregnant (on purpose) so I know your pain.
mecca512 4
So I guess the food was good then?
FenrisFiasco 6
Can I be a part of your family instead?
hellonyancat 6
"breaking the news" is a funny way to put it. It makes it sound as though you're telling them something bad.
goddafriend 3
That always happens in the movies, sad times.
AmatsuMakai 1
"BREEDERS"?! Your grandfather's an ass!
WhatsAKate4 6
I learned of the term "breeder" last week when my boyfriend's male roommate's boyfriend walked in on us cuddling in a suggestive position and yelled "Eeewww! Breeder sex!!" before slamming the door shut.