Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
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Top comments
Il_Maestro 6
Is your wife a Mudblood?
mgkgambino 3
He got out of the nursing home a little too early?
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Comments (105)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I say. You say. We say. Partay!
Rainbowjumper0 12
Well at least your child is yours, not theirs!
dragondude2 7
Your grandfather may be a part of the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement, and may regret ever having your father and dislike any further results of said action . . . Surprise!
eccentrix 12
Maybe something was lost in translation, but isn't 'breeder' slang for 'straight person'? At least, that's the only meaning I've heard for it.
Lichinamo 33
Breeders is a variation of 'living creature that breeds', which is a living creature that has offspring.
iwadasn 33
It's usually used contemptuously by people who believe that human overpopulation is so bad that no one should make any babies. Some think that people should just adopt already existing babies instead of having their own, but others want there to be NO babies so humans will "save the planet" by going extinct.
Raesin 21
It's also a term for a woman that continuously pops out loads of kids and usually has never worked a day in her life.
BellaMarta 19
I don't get this post.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I'm guessing op has a lot of kids, considering that a "breeder" is one who constantly has kids.
shawnaishere 14
Enjoy this time with grandpa. My grandpa used to make those silly comments and I'd be upset but now that he's gone I miss him a lot.
RakeyLeafyMooMoo 5
Congradulations to one part, and other part sucks due to your grandfather.. Like WOW really?!
instnt1nfction 17
Yay!
Acharyn_fml_fml 3
No, breeders shouldn't be shot. Just spayed or neutered. Stop over populating!
Ray_of_midnight 23
Considering that OP is from Romania, it sounds like someone remembers the "halcyon days" of Nicolae Ceausescu. :-/