Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to meet a guy that i had already started to be involved with at a bar. We laughed, kissed and had a great time, until he admitted he was just doing all of this to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. Guess who was waiting for me outside. FML
Today, I finally had sex with a coworker I’d been flirting with for nearly 2 and half years. The sex lasted less than 2 and a half minutes. FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
Today, I made out with a handsome man in the restroom at a party. There was a knock on the door, interrupting us. It was his girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I lost my virginity to a few months ago was actually in a relationship the whole time. How did I find this out? His now ex-girlfriend called to yell at me. FML
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Top comments
sxe_beast 11
Wait, how do you get locked IN an apartment? Isn't the point of a door and lock to keep people OUT?
ktsthrlnd 3
kinda creepy how his ex still has a key...and that you know she does...and that you know her....hmmm
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Comments (30)
BeatlesObsessed 12
Asshole much?
duran021 0
you can't get locked in an apartment..nice fake FML
Monkeyone 0
Rebound.
babyblue666 1
how do u get locked inside an apartment? arent the locks inside?
BallsMcLongcock4 8
Locked in? I think someone has to explain to you how a door lock works! .... or is it some really old door?
rocker135 0
she smirked because she got locked in too
PrincessC23 0
It must take a special kind of stupid to get locked in. YDI
chaoticnh 0
I would've done a double decker and raided the fridge. must be a trusting guy to leave before you after given the "friends speech"
sourgirl101 29
Okay, I had to urban dictionary "double decker" Totally WICKED!! haha!
sweet_blue 3
that is what I was wondering?
sourgirl101 29
Am I the only person that has deadbolt locks? Yes, you can get locked "in" your home. Every home I've lived in had iron bars too so no breaking a window to get out either. *Sign of the times!*