Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML
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Top comments
MistAtMarseilles 0
awesome dad
ChrisFrancia 0
at least the family is supportive did he give you any pointers? haha
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Comments (413)
fml911 0
HAHAH does she know ? thats kind of embarrasing & thats why u dont have sex with the windows open hahaha .. but super funny
kayronjm 0
LMAO that's awesome.
marz88 0
This FML should have gone like this "Today, I was working on a construction site when I saw a guy in another building having sex. I gave him a thumbs up, only to realize that it was my daughter's boyfriend and he was doing my daughter, FML"
route95 0
lol the dad probably didn't realize? i dunno. I just cant imagine this being true.
BOLLOX 0
That was his initial reaction but once it sinks in he's going to come back and murder you I'd watch my back if I was you ;)
Sagacious 0
My english teacher claimed she saw 2 people having sex when she was walking on the sidewalk. And it's a good thing her dad doesn't think that she's out of your league =p
zap_fml 0
As if
jesusjr 0
On the bright side, you could have the best father-in-law ever!
lizziebugg92 0
cant wait til you really meet the parents eh?
njwrestler171 0
hahah at least he doesnt care.........u gotta buy that man a beer