Today, my boss walked down to my office with me to get some paperwork after a very tense, important meeting. He patiently waited while I tried to unlock my office door with my remote for my car. Twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML
Today, after closing down the gas station I work at, I went to unlock the door to the building. Turned out the lock broke and I was locked inside until my boss could get there to let me out. FML
Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML
Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML
Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML
Today, I got locked in a restroom because the doorknob jammed. I had to text my coworker to come and rescue me. He brought half the office with him because, “It was too funny not to see.” FML
Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML
Today, I got up and left for work despite being really sick, because I had a big meeting. Halfway to work, in deadlocked traffic, my boss texts me to let me know he's rescheduling the meeting to tomorrow because of personal conflicts. FML
Today, I worked 12 long hours cooped up in my office. Before leaving, my boss asked me whether I'll ever take my job seriously. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 12
You're smart. I'm sure he got a good laugh out of it.
Litschi 0
geez.. fml isn't just for life ruining, world ending, universe crashing moments it's for funny, stupid and embarassing situations like these, so we can have a laugh at the stupidity of others :D lighten up..
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Comments (75)
FFML_314 12
You're smart. I'm sure he got a good laugh out of it.
BoyFromTheFuture 0
use your telekinetic powers b.
BoyFromTheFuture 0
when you figured it out you should have hit the panic button.
BoyFromTheFuture 0
when you figured it out you should have looked at your boss and hit the panic button.
babeeee13 0
shut up dude. we get it. #11. Gosh. I bet you were embarressed(:
Einstein714 0
very tense.....rofl
robertdr 0
we have a deputy in the forums goodbye fml
LoganBballin16 0
once again no gender Is given! I'm guessing a girl (yea I no I'm going to get girls freaking out to what I just said but oh well if it wasn't true you wouldn't get offended!)
hd9280 0
has to be a girl.... for sure.
happykate120 0
i got the impression that it was a guy actually
hebes331 0
I got the vibe right away that I was a girl.
Nolwen_fml 0
How is that a FML??? Your life us not ****** and your boss probably had a good laugh.
FFML_314 12
OK, so apparently my comment didn't post. Let me reiterate. (Sorry if it posts twice) Oh good God. I'm sure the moderators are very sorry for not posting the FML, about the guy who watched his wife butcher their family. This is a place for lighthearted stories, that give people a laugh. It /is/ a feel good place. NOT a place to come and cry and piss and moan about your horrible life. It's for simple, funny and quirky stories. I will explain this /again/ so that EVERYONE reading can understand. In order for a story to be published, it has to have a certain percentage of the regular users press YES and then it goes through the actual moderators. If you are having such an issue with the story, why comment on it at all? Why must you pick it apart and feel the need to share with us an idiotic opinion? These stories are not meant to make some great impression in your life. I see at least 4-5 people on /every/ FML bitch and moan and whine about how this FML is so gay or the moderators suck at picking stories. Do you know how many stories are probably published within any given hour? The moderators work their ass off to make this sight run as smoothly as it does. They /always/ make sure the stories are published ON TIME, they try and cater to each request of the users and do their best at meeting everyones needs. Stop being so god damn picky already! If you don't like what's being picked, go moderate them yourself. If you still don't like what's being picked, delete your account. Sorry. That was necessary.
happykate120 0
what the f was that tirade about FFML? all the comments above are in good humor, whf are you talking about fml moderators for?
FFML_314 12
It's obvious that you didn't read what I said. It is directed to all of the "This is not an FML" comments, but that was quite obvious, so I'm really not sure why I'm here explaining this to you.
sallen0046 4
That's odd, because when I go to a website entitled "F my life" I expect to hear stories about how ****** someone's life actually is. If you want to post "lighthearted stories, that give people a laugh", why don't you create a lighthearted laughs site?
FFML_314 12
You expect that, but you have no been informed that you are wrong. Have you ever read any of the Blogs on here? You can tell that the founders of this site are goofy and laid back. They aren't here to make everything cry. I wish at least one mod would come on and agree LOL! They are never around, when you need them.
FFML_314 12
DAMNIT! *now *everyone
FFML_314 12
I somehow feel like my prayers have been answered. God must be listening! Shit, that means he's watching, doesn't it? *Puts away sinful toys and objects*
ggooo3 0
milf....
calcetines 0
isn't that "my life is average?"
calcetines 0
Whoops! I had meant to direct my last comment to #58. Sorry for the double post!
Girreth 7
Just to tell you, QQing about trolls only gives us something to troll you about. If the people complaining bother you that much, why not stop reading comments? That's similar to saying, "Earth is meant to be a happy place, not one filled with crime, so can you guys stop stealing and killing? It's really bothering me!". Nobody is likely to listen. Friendly advice, no offense meant. Sorry if I offended you.
christa953 12
um yeah. ydi for being stupid
panchod1234 0
mooo
Angel_Vice 0
spinal cord
beastinbooty 0
dumbass
Alesana_Love 0
I don't think your boss would be upset. You can never get mad at a retard. It's just wrong ;)
katey280 0
I agree to your name :)
mrfruits 0
retard
moonlight_daze 8
Oh well.. People make mistakes. And this isn't a mistake related to any of your duties. I doubt your boss will think this means you are any less capable of doing your job. And in the end, that's all that really matters here.
guckylynn 19
I agree. The boss was probably chuckling to himself waiting to see how long it would take OP to notice.
ilovelife_01 0
LOL!
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Idk what to post on lame ones like this.
hd9280 0
just say she's stupid.
machiko_fml 0
don't worry op, I have had that happen to me.
robertdr 0
that is a very nice hot looking coat rack you got there