Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
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Top comments
kjr1047 0
really, in the living room?
TheUnknown_fml 9
Shouldn't you notice a camera? But do it in your room next time. -.-
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Comments (162)
tunacansam 0
hey kittykatkelly aka KKK go download a bible app
kitkatkelly 0
Uh, I'm an atheist...?
bexox 0
wtf...
ihatelife95 0
you jack off where people sit and talk??
plexico 4
She should be glad that her lotion bottle wasn't magically refilling itself -- if you know what I mean!
Dead_and_Gone 0
i think everyone knows what you mean
plexico 4
I don't think #48 knew what I meant.
koaoak 0
only do it if your parents aren't home
maddog_fml 0
Hahaha! Your mom's lotion?? Hahaha! And watching **** in the livingroom? That's wrong dude! Get yourself a dvd or pc with dvd and do that shit in your room. Or do you like to watch gayporn on the big screen? YDI this one, dumbass!
PrayerPolice 0
ooh, noo!
lesp 6
fap fap fap! fap fap fap! You deserved it! You deserved it! *to the tune of "Shake Your Booty" by KC & The Sunshine Band*
bexox 0
Whatever you're smoking, where do i get some?
maddog_fml 0
#40 LOL!! :)
mas19 0
lol #3 OP that sucks though
Chfanfiction 0
**** is stupid. I don't get why people would watch it.
Jazzywrites007 2
because it's hotter than My Gf. ;-]
snocap12 0
i think some people forget that no one is perfect...and that by watching stuff like that where the people are doing exactly what someone wants and they have perfect/or abnormally exaggerated bodies...etc. whatever ur into.....that they are setting themselves up with an ideal....so ya..ur gf couldnt live up to it....