Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, while working in a kids shop, I absentmindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then heard a deep man's voice say, "I'm not a little man." FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML
Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, "No way" or "It looks great on you", I accidentally said, "Yeah, I know." FML
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
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Top comments
CLINTRONxD 0
You're right, That totally sucks. But it is hilarious
ohmygawdz 0
I bet you do, you little boinger you.
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Comments (289)
9876123 0
Hahaha, that's great! :)
mattmag 0
It was just your friends. If you can't laugh it off, then get new friends.
Laxguitar37 0
Hahahah dude megans law creeper! Did you at least correct yourself?
alexpwnsu 0
That's like saying I get boners at watching little naked girls
mehwhateverr 0
Lol. But then you just say "little as in short".
avrii 0
Hahahahahaha thats funny it makes u sound like a creeper aka micheal jackson
toastywafers 0
Creepyface
sweetdreamz454 0
#197 wow u retard! Ur juss like the person who wrote the fml! U r both pervvz!!! Lmao jk but #197 ur still a perv and a retard. :)
HaHa_Sux4_U 0
Hahaha good one creeper
blowup_dollie 0
I giggle at your plight, good sir. :D