Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, while working in a kids shop, I absentmindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then heard a deep man's voice say, "I'm not a little man." FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML
Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, "No way" or "It looks great on you", I accidentally said, "Yeah, I know." FML
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
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Top comments
CLINTRONxD 0
You're right, That totally sucks. But it is hilarious
ohmygawdz 0
I bet you do, you little boinger you.
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Comments (289)
Silas_fml 0
242 - Sorry, let me rephrase. When are any of the words in that blurb ones that one would need a dictionary to know or use.
xocassylovesyou 0
Too many people are stupid, and don't think before they talk. **** the girl, for being tiny in the first place. **** your friends, for thinking the perverted thoughts they obviously thought once you said that. **** you, for saying it in the ******* first place... ---Cassy
alijacket 0
LMAO. OMFG, that's priceless. And creepy.
mz200sx 0
LMAO hahahahaha thats hilarious and so is #43
blue_virtue 0
Pedobear would be pleased... He'd also vote FYL. But I say YDI. Gotta mind your p's and q's buddy.
ptmcg 0
Today I spent 2 hours writing the perfect FML, using phrases like "express to my friends", "I was enamored with", "I had encountered", and "I am, in general, attracted to petite women", but in the end I just sounded like a major doofus. FML.
ilyhunn 0
this is toooo funny... my new fave fml!
amazingkate 0
you know, if you have any sort of predilection for certain types of women, you always have to be careful how you say it. it sounds creepy no matter what if you say you have a thing for short girls, asian girls, fat girls, "ethnic" girls. i've heard it all from guys and every time i think it's creepy to have such a serious "type". basically if it goes farther than hair color you should proceed with caution. trust me. TRUST me. this was a really, REALLY good example. ha ha ha ha!
Jacoband 0
Sure u didn't make this . And even if u didn't no one cares
leotarde 0
U should work at hooters