Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, while working in a kids shop, I absentmindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then heard a deep man's voice say, "I'm not a little man." FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML
Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, "No way" or "It looks great on you", I accidentally said, "Yeah, I know." FML
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
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Top comments
CLINTRONxD 0
You're right, That totally sucks. But it is hilarious
ohmygawdz 0
I bet you do, you little boinger you.
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Comments (289)
iroquoiswho1033 0
Well it's a good thing I like big girls... Big Fat Girls...
ash4223 0
Lol it funny sounds creepy but still its an understandable mistake if u kno the entire story
milyfesuckz2 0
this isn't a FML, the first time i read it i thought u were saying u like little girls as in petite girls. people say shit like that all the time to their friends and just laugh about it. they obvi know u dont really like little girls. u should of just made a joke out of it.
tari_joon 0
This is a funny one. I LOL'd XD
KumoFF7 3
Call me
wth_seriously 0
wooooooooooooooow, good job dude, you are officaly the new pedobear (kidding) choose your words more wisely x]
testing_fml 0
That petite girl wouldn't happen to be a red-head about 5'3", would it? Cause I used to work at that pet shop, located in Fortuna, California...amazing coincidence, if so.
Venasaysdie 0
That's a bit narcissitic. The only info he gave about it was that she was petit and she works at a shop... and you think it's you he's enamoured with... I wonder what that says about your personality....
emikonaito 0
Lmao. Funny. Hope they let you live that one down~
jakemontez13 0
pedi-creeper lawl
rsjaco_54 0
don't worry about it ... if you were talking to your FRIENDS i'm sure they understood and you all laughed about it anway. this is not a good fml ...