Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, while working in a kids shop, I absentmindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then heard a deep man's voice say, "I'm not a little man." FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML
Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, "No way" or "It looks great on you", I accidentally said, "Yeah, I know." FML
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
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Top comments
CLINTRONxD 0
You're right, That totally sucks. But it is hilarious
ohmygawdz 0
I bet you do, you little boinger you.
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Comments (289)
snavula 0
#8, please return to your spot under the bridge so you can hassle some billy goats please. Why does every FML have to be amazing? Its an FML it got accepted, get over it. Even if he explained himself afterwards, who knows if his friends didn't just crack up and rip on him about it for the rest of the day? He could be THAT kid (probably you to your friends) that everyone rips on for anything. So perhaps it F'd his life a little more than you think. ****** troll.
corporalusmc 0
Ur sick man. Kidding, that's funny though
dan0 0
Well at least it was just between your friends.
tornado87 0
#53 lets guess how many girls you scare away with the dictionary corrections
Vasir 2
13 Took the words out of my mouth, i searched the page for the word seat.
sirmixalot 0
It would be funnier if u were in Toys R Us and a bunch if little kids around.
gatorchomp15tebo 0
I'll take the spaghetti basket
justgotfmled 0
Same here, youre just an idiot.
jellyfilled 0
#54 seriously he was talking to his FRIENDS not his crush- get it right next time k?
gatorchomp15tebo 0
I'll have the spaghetti basket