Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML
Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
Today, I found out the girl I’ve been seeing for a few weeks is freaky. At her grandad's funeral, she got so upset she had to leave the room, only to drag me into the priest's office for a quick blowjob. Apparently, death turns her on. I had oral sex at a funeral. I’m going to Hell for sure. FML
Today, while I was walking to the kitchen, I heard someone on the TV moaning. As I made my way down the stairs, I saw my grandfather quickly change the channel and lean forward. I'm 90% sure I caught my grandpa watching porn. FML
Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML
Today, for some reason my girlfriend wanted to have sex in the bathroom at a family funeral. I’m sure that’s a sin, I mean… we definitely did it, so sorry Nana, but now I feel all wrong about it and I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell one day. FML
Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML
Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML
Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mpsteve137 15
God is all about forgiveness
SWC_Penguin 17
What's really sad is that Grandma was only watching a shampoo commercial and confused it for ****.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
mpsteve137 15
God is all about forgiveness
xlord 27
I'd hope so, otherwise I'm damned to hell for 10,000 lifetimes by now.
fareith 15
14 - 10,000? That's some endurance bro. And some loneliness....
ilovedinosawers 17
Satan spawn.
xlord 27
To be fair, only 9,950 of those were for masturbating. The others were from stealing candy from a baby.
stevothedevo 25
#53 hope you washed your hands before eating that candy
ThatGuyWhoTalks 10
God is not real
longsock123 7
In my personal opinion, God is all about being made up
neeni88 23
I hope 53 washed his hands before going anywhere near a baby.
Roskosity 22
How did she come up with that?!
Mossears133 15
Well, based on the recent number of grandparent-related fmls, grannies are naturally crazy! :D
groovycrazyjoe 18
if she's going to hell the two grand parents who got caught in the car in another fml is going to burn in it
Jacobkal 8
Well those future family dinners are going to be awkward now.
ElementaryEdGuy 18
"So, honey, have you taken to the new sexual trends I saw in that video? Which cups do I need to stay away from?"
groovycrazyjoe 18
sorry OP fyl because I wouldn't want to know my grandma was watching ****
TimeDisposalEngi 14
Ewwww lol!
Welshite 40
Well, I guess that means I've got a one way ticket to hell.
MichaelT17 9
Me too
sknabc123 8
Yup. Same.
MGITSWFTC 17
...and back. With Jesus. Or The Darkness. Either one.
jramirez16 9
Guilty too
AnthonyWheeler15 24
If that's the case then a lot of families are going to hell.
tygerarmy 35
God's not punishing her, he just doesn't want her to go to sleep until she's found someone to act out the scene she saw.
VannahJane 17
I think most families would be damned for hell in that case
SWC_Penguin 17
What's really sad is that Grandma was only watching a shampoo commercial and confused it for ****.
Welshite 40
Can't really tell the difference between some of them, truth be told.
naturalbadassnba 11
Yes! Yes! Yes!!
jramirez16 9
Or she switched it to a Spanish channel lol damn horny Mexicans!!
Sandman366 6
"This looks like that pornography ..." (Wait, wasn't that a yogurt commercial?)
oj101 33
Today's religion is tomorrow's mythology.
McNikk 15
I'm sorry but was this comment really necesary?
Wealthyparrot 9
It's true, you don't believe in Zeus do you? Plus, is any comment necessary?
TVKill3r 15
It is. That stuff is da best.
Catkam623 27
Why is there this sudden influx of people saying da and dat? Is the extra letter really that hard to type.
McNikk 15
@21: No but that's just one example. I suppose not but if a comment must be made than it would be better if the comment was directly related to the original post (or at least added on to an already existing discussion).
BionicSasuage 6
Agreed.
timelessone 16
37 I'm curious as to how the comment does not relate to the post. He's only stating that he thinks religion is myth. so if you're saying that this does not relate to the op's post then that means everyone else who is talking about God and hell which is of a religious nature shouldn't be posting comments under this FML either
jramirez16 9
N now it's necessary for me to have some!!! D:
McNikk 15
@56: The other posts that mention religon are talking about things or making jokes about op's situation. This guy just posted a random opinion that doesn't have anything to do with the op just to start up a religous fight.
timelessone 16
The only religious fight that has been started here is between me and you so far. And besides FML is full of randomness, that's why some comments are so funny. Now granted the original comment wasn't to hilarious but to condemn one random opinion is to condemn them all. However, if you would like to voice your disapproval please do so with the thumbs down button this would be much easier and less likely to start a comment war.
Capriccio22 13
I think that what #10 means is that what was a normal and socially acceptable belief in the grandma's day (watching **** would send a family to hell) is now not a commonly held view and more likely to be laughed off or posted on FML. So religion is turning into mythology.
tylanol7 12
Yes yes it most definatly was nessacary...grammer nazis go nuts
Rababco 29
@103 Actually, it isn't the religion itself that's turning mythology (Christianity is still a widely held belief and popular religion worldwide) but certain views within that religion that are no longer believed or practiced.
thatonegirlnic 10
I wish that people understood God is about love, not hating people.
283leis 8
Tell that to all the homophobes, atheist haters and westboro.
jem970 19
Amen to that!
jramirez16 9
Tell that to the preacher walking behind me yelling that we are "all going to die!!!" just because I wouldn't stand listening to him for 30 minutes
thatonegirlnic 10
I said God, not people. No person on Earth is perfect, and many have a skewed understanding of what it means to be a Christian. Hence all the hatred.
tylanol7 12
Tell that to the old testament