Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Guess your boyfriend's not as Charmin as you thought
KeyboardWarrior 10
I know right... Especially the 48th one...
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Comments (106)
KVKdragon 26
This is why generic/bargain products, copying popular brands, aren't always the best to buy. It could have some unknown drawback that isn't present with the real-deal popular brands.
downtime 13
But then so could the original. Something being a name brand doesn't necessarily make it a safe product.
Predental 5
You don't say!
kateRAWR 4
To be hounest no one cares about what type of tolet paper they use only if you get what OP got
Shleebs 12
At least it wasn't brought on by your boyfriend's inability to be in a monogamous relationship.
rapunzel3416 28
I want your picture to be true.
Andr913 13
66-Don't we all, don't we all. Anyway, OP, tell your boyfriend to get a different brand, and if he's so cheap he refuses, I suggest you make his life hell until he gets some normal TP. I suggest putting plastic wrap on the toilet.
wes04ram1500 6
You are aware sand paper and toilet paper are commonly confused these days.
Vulpes21 6
@34, lol are you and your friends keeping the mexicans out of texas or are you regular hicks?
MissHayleyJames 7
Mudflap always says, you're never too poor to buy good toilet paper and I have to say I agree. Cheap toilet paper sucks. If any of you know who Mudflap is, awesome. If you don't, you should.
toenibbler 14
Seems like it might be a good idea to change toilet paper.
perdix 31
Now I understand why Mr. Whipple was always mustache-deep in top-shelf pussy. He was the pimp with the good TP ;)
jerjy1 5
shitty situation
Awsumuzzie 12
Oh, no you didn't... Thanks, now we sit and wait for you to be chewed alive.
BrownTaco 5
Shit doesn't come out of the ******.
immaMonsta 8
#25 I DON'T see what you did there...
crimsonprodigy 15
Whatever gets the job done :)
Icejza_DaChilla 7
Tell your boyfriend to not be so cheap.
loserman67 36
What is the brand name? Chlamydia paper? Maybe you need to talk to your boyfriend about his cheap ******, not his cheap toilet paper.
downtime 13
If you're going to comment on STI's you might want to mention one whose common symptoms include vaginal itchyness.