Ca13b
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Prank protip
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
psychopumpkin
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Boston, United Kingdom
Hard times
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Broke boy
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
lavenderpiss
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
North Adelaide, Australia
New fragrance just dropped
Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Self defence
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
rachel
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Köln, Germany
Devious
Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML
jquaw
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Brockville, Canada
Catfishing 101
Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML
sosadstudent
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Netherlands
The smell test
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
NotASpiderMan
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Seattle, United States
Creeped out
Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Hopkinsville, United States
Limited edition prank
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Coykoi
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Saskatoon, Canada
Doofus
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Top comments
Nikkitaria 9
Put pepper spray in his underwear drawer
SinisterMedic 0
Fire in the hole...? :)
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Comments (195)
Eaglestrike117 29
Sounds like fun.
hockey199813 5
I think I'll try that sometime
DK1234567 8
I guess OP isn't in to that kinda stuff :/
Keyman1212 14
Oh holy mother of God... I remember when I had tear gas training in the navy.... **** THAT. OP's butthole must have been swollen and sore forever.
Jennyboo5797 4
#33 or maybe it was her ****** o.O or both...
Georgieeporgiee 9
Nice brother...
EelJumpsRope 0
33- OP is a guy.
meelo88 13
oh man....that sucks....that's gotta be worse than getting Bengay on your privates
illmatic2 16
His username is Ca13b. I don't know about you, but I don't know too many girls named Caleb.
EelJumpsRope 0
Damn, I meant to say that to 37.
MrPedoBear_fml 4
I'll lick that pepper spray off.
NitroTonicsFML 4
What an ass wipe.
rainydayz133 6
#78 Guess your name is pedo bear with good reason..
doctorwhogirl 0
well at least your protected from any surprise butt sex in the mean time- this could have been a blessing in disguise
idontcare8l 3
Atleast he didnt put it on your tampons? ( or condoms if not a girl )
exleonhart 0
33- did you use calculus and lasers to determine how much gas you were exposed to?
dre_bro11 12
OP, replace the contents of his lube with muscle cream. That'll teach him.
scrapmetal58 9
33 - I remember my CBRN retraining (might be called something different now) when I was in the navy. I had LASIK eye surgery a couple of months prior and let me tell you, unimaginable pain. I had gotten pink eye on both eyes and was healing slowly. We had to walk into the gas chamber about 5 metres without blinking before we were allowed to don our gas masks. I got about half a metre inside before I screamed in pain and covered my eyes. They grabbed me and pulled me outside and poured a bucket of water on my face. My face was burnt from the gas, likely from my tears since it burns moist areas. I can't even describe how painful it was. Then, they made me go back in. I finished this time thanks to the layer of water on my face. I had undergone this training before the surgery and never had an issue. :'(
blushy 14
ouch
Nikkitaria 9
Put pepper spray in his underwear drawer
zinoxity 23
I'd just put pepper spray in his eyes.
sillyjb 9
Cayenne pepper in the underwear!
DrDilllonReese 12
I do that when I go on panty raids
FreshlyCut 0
Dr Dillion = total fag:|. Nuff said.
TheCylonmaster 3
When he's asleep, pepper spray his hand because I bet he jerks off at 1:00 a.m.
mduffy08 8
Axe + lighter = good intentions?
AznShadowWc 9
Pepper spray his pillow.
kocoman500 2
Um no, that's A bit much??
UrLyfSuxx 0
So is pepper spraying toilet paper.
bad_chiquita 5
No, fart on his pillow and give him pink eye.
fml8396 0
I laughed when I saw this!!
Streeet_hayley 6
Clever..
kirsty1551 3
not really, unless he used the toilet paper?
Troy_K 7
Pretty obvious that he used it. I don't think many people will check toilet paper to see if it's pepper sprayed lol.
malignantmegan 3
I'm going to now
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
I'd love to hear how that turned out.
FUUUandyourmom 16
Dear Lord. I'm cringing just thinking about that.
Georgieeporgiee 9
Ouch...
saIty 17
Watch out for fire coming out of your butt after you let one rip.
JenDanielle917 13
Or a fireball that shoots out of OP's mouth. Wait, that'd be pretty badass.
rkmepm 16
I see what u did thar 74
hockey199813 5
Did you put salt on his pillow
raphanne_fml 33
Nope, in his cup of coffee!
tannerparker16 0
I'm not sure how salting his pillow would do anything, unless u plan on wiping ur ass with the pillow
brunogtz 4
"YOUR ASS, GODDAMIT!"
JenDanielle917 13
Can't imagine how bad that would hurt, especially if OP is a girl.
vipirius 18
why would op's gender make any difference?
Brandonbhp 6
a girl could use the toilet paper to wipe her ******....thats why there is a difference in genders -_-
GabbyCharityM 0
105 - I hope if you're a female that you know you have to wipe down there..
raphanne_fml 33
*shudders if she doesn't*
kdhm2b 0
stupid text 101: 1=L 3=E. Hence Ca13b = Caleb. How many female "Caleb"s do you know?
ArcadePie 10
Seven
lifeisaterriblem 6
Bet that felt really good.... Sorry OP