Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from Bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML
Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML
Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML
Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
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Top comments
skittles73 14
What kind of **** do you watch?
kells1124 14
at least she didn't know what it actually was!
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Comments (79)
givethisguyahug 7
Jurassic park XXX The uncut version.
MattyHodge08 2
I died inside when I read this, Poor little sis.
LosinIt2008 14
sorry pal but you totally deserve to be humiated!! Lol smh check and check again and after that, Check yet again that you aren't connected to blue tooth when ya wanna look at yer **** dude lol!!! :/
Lilkat39 5
You deserve it. Use your brain next time.
nfedrichy 20
I can't decide which would be funnier the dinosaur sex or you screaming like a dinosaur. It would still be hilarious :-) :-) :-) . SCREEEEEEEEEEEECHHHHHHH!!!
dagarr 11
You are still lucky they thought it was dinosaur noises
vikky538 29
Never heard of dinosaurs **** before
sousounator 19
That's a repost btw
Miss_Mandi 29
"Today, MOST of my family was out of the house" Nope, YDI.
Silk_Routes 14
I think she is mature enough to call it sarcastically a dinosaur noise..Lol..YDI op