Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from Bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML
Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML
Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML
Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
skittles73 14
What kind of **** do you watch?
kells1124 14
at least she didn't know what it actually was!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (79)
MrThump 16
You watch dinosaur **** in the bathroom?
swanheart 35
Reading the fml it sounds like op was the one making dinosaur noises, which is possibly more disturbing.
dezman2000 21
Watching dinosaur **** is as disturbing as it can get, honestly
Fmlsea 28
i dont know i think my little pony ****, would be more distrubing then dinasouar ****.
deathshead 19
agreed
psychopolarbear 28
Depends on the dinosaur. If it's some kind of Barney shit, I might actually think the ponies would be less creepy.
worldclassrager 41
Your YDI is from the word most...never browse unless everyone is asleep or gone...
fmyhardon 16
Please come back and explain "dinosaur noise"
ProfessorMctitie 20
Least you have a gift of sounding like a dinosaur when masturbating
TahoeFMler 22
Stupid ass. You deserve that.
Sillsallad 15
Why do you even use Bluetooth?
MrConcise 35
This is the only logical response to this FML. Unrelated, I'm surprised there hasn't been a "lickalotapuss" joke considering this is the only relevant FML to use it on.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
A lot of people use Bluetooth for music or speaker phone. It's perfectly reasonable if you are the type who uses your phone as an MP3 player and all that. In this case the OP just forgot their phone was paired from a previous use.
hkhan24 23
At least you weren't connected to a Chromecast, now that would have been awkward. You gotta be so careful with technology these days..
itsme82 18
I laughed so hard at this.
Xion0014 20
Alot of people seem to have bluetooth on their computers with family members. I find it so weird.
Fmlsea 28
hopefully your sister doesn't tell your family about you making your "dinasouar noises" that would be a bit awkward ..