Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from Bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML
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Top comments
silvanawernli 5
your fault man
onlychildFTW 34
Well I guess that's one way to avoid "the talk" with her. I just hope she isn't scared for life from that. YDI totally dude.
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Comments (154)
silvanawernli 5
your fault man
sunshine41196 12
totally! u shouldve checked first!
levention 18
ya totally bro
DREAMCATCHERoooo 4
F her life not yours.
amayasoma 19
He should have waited til daughter was in bed, not home, or something.
bubblyhayley 16
#74 agreed, not really appropriate while his daughters in the other room watchin tv!!
TheZigg 8
Dang, poor little child:( OP definitely deserves this one!
FangirlingAlways 14
Really hope she is older so she already knows about sex, but she would be disgusted to realize that her father was watching that.
CocaColaPepsi 13
This same thing was on 9GAG, sure its your story?
ohcheriecherie 20
always gotta check all aspects of **** security. volume, connections, people/windows behind you....
deathrowdiesel 2
Some tech is just hard to remember i probably would have done the same thing on accident
GreatGeak 8
is it bad that this is the funniest fml I've read in a while? "that's how adults wrestle hunny"
onlychildFTW 34
Well I guess that's one way to avoid "the talk" with her. I just hope she isn't scared for life from that. YDI totally dude.
PunkySpunky78 15
How do know the age of the daughter? The op never said she was a child
OctoDope 15
Either way that is a horrible life experience and the younger the age the better as they wont remember it hopefully
Epikouros 32
If she were really young, mainstream **** would've been nothing but weird gymnastics to her. And then she wouldn't have screamed...
Jasmeent11 15
Naked gymnastics? I don't think so...
emirie 21
Well, maybe, depending on the type of **** he watches.
Kamon97 23
Really hope the daughter wasn't really young
Epikouros 32
I didn't make that up, I read about a little girl who watched the **** channel in a hotel room and asked what kind of gymnastics those people were doing. (Sigh, try explaining how an innocent child thinks to a site full of horny teenagers.)
CynePhoba 23
Hopefully she's still got her innocence, and hopefully you'll be more careful next time! FHL to be honest.
jazzy_123 20
It's sad. My mom had a friend who's child was looking at ****. He found out the code to unlock it on the tv and he'd lock himself up I'm the room. One day his mom walked in on him and he was jacking off. The kid was like 8 years old!
TunaFireStarter 16
The **** part is kind of young, but even some babies **********. It's pretty normal for young kids to do it.
Jasmeent11 15
Babies? I really hope you're kidding.
jazzy_123 20
I understand what you're trying to say. Children don't **********,(masturbation is when people touch themselves in a sexual way) they feel their parts because they're exploring themselves. Its completely normal for them to do that. However, I'm sure this child was doing it in a sexual way since he was exposed to it and yet at the same time didn't know any better.
geekbuscus 19
The are actually very young children that ********** but they don't really know that's what they are doing. I vaguely remember seeing something about a little girl who would rock herself a certain way in her car seat until she achieved ******. No idea where I saw that though.
DivinePrince 18
You can tell this to my 12 year old self. I'm sure I knew what I was doing. Also sneakily watching **** on tv. But anyways, I'm not scarred by it like some people seem to think. Sex is natural.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
@106, You probably saw that on an episode of House! There's a scene with House talking to a patient in the clinic who's afraid of her young daughter having some illness because of the "episodes" of shortness or breath and increased heart rate she has when rocking herself against her car seat.
iwadasn 33
110, sex is natural for adults, but not for little kids. There's no excuse for a parent exposing their young child to ****.
emilyyy_maryyy 14
Aw that poor girl.. Good luck explaining that one
blowinkissies 9
Maybe he can trick her into thinking that it was just something on tv... Just kidding.
persianninja 23
Explanations are so much better with visuals
Damian95 16
They were just playin leap frog and her clothes fell off.
Jasmeent11 15
How old is your daughter? You better talk to her about it, otherwise she may be traumatised..
davidislost 11
Precisely, influences like this on a child can leave them scarred for life. When she's old enough to consider such matters, this subconscious trauma will resonate through her mind in a very negative way. Talk to her.
HelloooooNurse 20
I think that name should be changed to ConfusedDaughter.
crazytwinsmom 25
Or BadDad, or DumbassDad
mimiminx 23
YDI for watching **** while your daughter was awake in the house. Wait until she's asleep or out!
russfml 31
Are you serious?
Metallica36176 16
I agree. No way in hell am I going to watch **** when everyones up and about. How are you going to relax and enjoy if youre worrying if she hears something or comes to the door? YDI.
mimiminx 23
#25 Indeed I am serious. I can't imagine anything worse than knowing my dad was bashing one out in the bedroom while I was watching tv in the living room. Vile.
Rawr6591 21
thing is ....he probably already has
little_one 20
Sorry but what's the big deal? Assuming he has the door locked she wouldn't even know? If a guy isn't allowed to jack off basically ever in your opinion wouldn't he be frustrated? Just think your going overboard everyone needs alone time.
shyeahh_fml 19
What do you mean he wouldn't be allowed to jack off ever? I have plenty of time. I'm usually the last one awake in my house, which helps my cause, but it's not hard to find time. Whether I'm home alone, the last one awake, or about to get in the shower (people may be up but I won't be disturbed), I make it happen. You definitely shouldn't just walk into your room and do the deed though. There's no protection there.
Laurenlou 24
No one needs **** to **********. In fact, its better not to use **** because **** is just as addictive as hard drugs. **** also fuels the human trafficking industry. Those women may have a gun pointed to their heads off camera. Even if it was the woman's choice to get involved in ****, then men will not let her leave easily. The women get drugged up and threatened to be killed if they don't make it look enjoyable. 80% of the **** online is abusive **** where women get beat for the man's pleasure. Do you know what that does to young men's brains? It tells them its okay to treat women like that.
Epikouros 32
Let's assume all that bullshit they've been feeding you is true, #84. Anyone who dislikes the **** industry can find more amateur **** on the internet than they could ever watch. And at least no one is threatened with eternal damnation in order to make ****. You know how I got into hardcore ****? By reading about rape, prostitution, adultery and gangbangs in the Bible when I was bored in church. Do you want to ban the books of Genesis, Kings and the Song of songs? And let's not forget Ezekiel who ate shit in public just to be an attention *****.
swick25 22
wow number 84 how ignorant can you possibly be? have you ever watched **** in your life? it depends on what type of **** you are into. they have millions of categories idiot. I watch **** and have no shame in saying it. shut up and research shit before you decide to comment you ******* prude
DivinePrince 18
I dont know what is going on in your head right now. But I am a girl/woman. I love ****. 1. **** is actually keeping people off the streets. **** has through studies led to a decline in rape. 2. I'd rather have a **** addict than a rapist, okay. At least they are keeping their fantasies in their heads. 3. I think you are living under a rock.
swick25 22
the more and more I reread 84's comment the more and more I get pissed off. God so ignorant. If that is your thought on that I am going to assume someone has drugged you and put a gun to your head after they human trafficked you here to comment on this. I am a woman, watch ****, have ******, strap-on's, handcuffs, leg irons, a shit ton of **** of all types, so I guess I have to have been drugged and have a gun to my head and been trafficked to Connecticut to have these things???? I can't stand people like you that think that people who watch or are in the **** industry are to haven been doing so with out their own free will. still a virgin? And if nit only have sex in missionary position? I am going to assume so.
swick25 22
the more and more I reread 84's comment the more and more I get pissed off. God so ignorant. If that is your thought on that I am going to assume someone has drugged you and put a gun to your head after they human trafficked you here to comment on this. I am a woman, watch ****, have ******, strap-on's, handcuffs, leg irons, a shit ton of **** of all types, so I guess I have to have been drugged and have a gun to my head and been trafficked to Connecticut to have these things???? I can't stand people like you that think that people who watch or are in the **** industry are to haven been doing so with out their own free will. still a virgin? And if nit only have sex in missionary position? I am going to assume so.
ThomasBombadil 31
The severity of this totally depends on what type of **** you were watching.
StompinOnCrayons 15
Tentacle.
HelloooooNurse 20
Backdoor ***** 9
Rainhawk94 27
Pooty tang
REALAfroninga 11
Ally cat.
juan3611 14
Itty titty gang bang
WhatsOpTic 11
Black **** Down
Koppol 15
BBW
Wizzlbang 10
Lemon stealing ******
josh8215 21
Two girls one cup
dingleberrysteve 6
4 girls fingerpaint?
Murilirum 23
Parenting++
BFons 19
I agree with #8. Totally depends what you were watching. Still should talk to her though.