Today my roommate was taking forever in the shower. I had to pee like crazy. I danced around waiting and waiting. I couldn’t hold it anymore so I snuck out to the backyard to pop a squat. The relief hit me at the same time the realization that our landlord has security camera in the back yard...FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I realised that my landlord was peeking in the whole time through broken ventilator. Once he tried to get into my room, using his keys. I couldn't tell the landlord's wife, as I didn't have any proof so I left the house, even though my rent was long due. FML
Today, after waiting two hours for my landlord to leave so I could take a shit in peace, I sat down on the toilet. The doorbell immediately rang. It was my landlord, who wanted to let me know that he had just backed into my car. FML
Today, I peed myself pretty bad while waiting for the elevator in my boyfriend’s luxury apartment building, and there was a camera. I ran away, but I was afraid my boyfriend would get fined if I left it, so I tried my best to clean it but I feel like such an idiot now. I really hope they don’t check the camera footage. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML
Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML
Today, I went to the movies with some friends. During the movie, I really needed to pee but didn’t want to disturb anyone. So, I waited and waited. Finally, I couldn’t hold it anymore and bolted to the bathroom… only to get locked out of the theater in the process. The staff had to escort me back in during the end credits. FML
Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML
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Top comments
julfunky 29
You should be fine. Unless that also happens to be the night your place gets robbed, he’ll have no need to check the security footage. Just cross your fingers and hope it eventually gets lost.
Phillycheeze 20
Oh Shit!!
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Comments (9)
julfunky 29
You should be fine. Unless that also happens to be the night your place gets robbed, he’ll have no need to check the security footage. Just cross your fingers and hope it eventually gets lost.
Phillycheeze 20
Oh Shit!!
evilplatypus 39
Use the kitchen sink next time.
mike3775 39
There were no bottles laying around?
katydid91 31
OP is female. Peeing in a bottle successfully is very difficult for females.
purplepixie23 16
I think it would be less em-bare-ass-ing to just go in the bathroom while roommates in the shower. There must be some kind of curtain or door.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
you could've said ****'em and barge into the room and used a toilet if they woulda bitched then respond with "next time don't take so fucling long" and if they continue to bitch just flush
Stan_The_Man 7
I prefer to pee outside...
clair_brodie 35
cups can be washed...
randybryant799 21
Aren't you a guy? Peeing outside shouldn't be a big deal.