Sex, Boredom Love Boredom - FML

Boredom

alhummel21 - 12/02/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Mr. Hopeless - 13/02/2009 21:59 - United States

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

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ozzy - 06/11/2016 09:18 - United States - Campbell

Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML

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hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

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thedudeman14 - 05/11/2014 22:21 - United States - Deer Park

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

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Nice try

Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

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Subway creeper

Anonymous - 07/07/2025 18:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was creeping on a girl, looking at her tattoos and getting stimulated while she was sitting down in the carriage next to ours. From the looks of it, it looked like she was looking at her phone, but she was actually staring dead at me. FML

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Anonymous - 11/09/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

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wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

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SeeBrendenBurn - 21/11/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

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UnfortunatelySingle - 21/07/2015 06:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

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csigabajnok 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 14:24

Why didn't you start texting too? Maybe you should have sent her a message to pay damn attention or something.

ohgeez 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 17:31

Hrmm....I'm not saying I'm amazing at it, but from what I can tell, texting is the last thing on the girls mind.... I'd actually be impressed if she could type complete sentences.

petagirl 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 6:27

you should probably become alot better at that... I've been on the recieving end before from guys who think they're fantastic... they're not and they wont take any pointers. Guys however, are always ready and willing to dish out the advice. sorry, had to say it

BurnMaster 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 10:12

Jewish American Princess from Newark...we talking in DE cause I know one from there and I'm the only dude that can make her cum from that she complains bout other dudes LOL.

skyttlz 32

Monday 9 January 2012 0:58

What

Heatstreak 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 1:33

fist her lmao JK

irish83 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 1:28

i know how you feel. that happened to me once

unbelievable1 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 19:21

Bite down. That'll get her attention. It might also get you a ticket to federal prison, but, eh, whatcha gunna do.I take my girls phone awayy when she comes overr hah

xGet_Over_It 0

Sunday 27 June 2010 15:57

you take her phone away? what are you, her dad? why would you take her phone away? that's just wrong.

ladybuggirl1234 3

Tuesday 17 July 2012 19:41

mabye he means when they are are going to have sex?

basketball03 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 22:27

ahahah FYL

ifeelbad4u 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:23

GRR u made me lose the game #47 -_-'

reesticles 0

Monday 9 March 2009 3:41

I could totally see my girlfriend doing the same thing! NOT! you must really suck at oral lol

asif_mylife 0

Monday 9 March 2009 20:03

umm you should ask her what she likes... that is if you like her otherwise... dump her! and that is coming from someone who has had to teach a couple of guys a couple of things! haha

Lovebug9 0

Monday 9 March 2009 21:40

Practice makes perfect. Sad but true. I think it is better than faking it. Ask her what she wants you to do.

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Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML

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Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML

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Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

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Today, my new supervisor arrived after my old one had transferred away and we had a quick evaluation meeting. As it turns out, I'm not actually a good employee like I thought. I just had a shitty boss who didn't care enough to let me know I wasn't meeting company standards. FML

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Today, my roommate hooked up with a guy she met at a party. After telling me about it, she says to me, "Maybe next time we go out we'll hit someone over the head and drag him back here for you." Apparently the only way I can get a guy is if he's unconscious. FML

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