Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
Today, my boss called to check if I was available for a last-minute meeting. Trying to sound professional, I sat up straight in my chair, only to forget I was sitting on a rolling chair with no lock. The chair slid back, I slipped off, and a loud crash echoed through the office. My boss asked if I was okay, and I tried pretending nothing happened. FML
Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML
Today, bored to death, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early. The chair screeched loudly as I stood, and my badge fell off and skidded across the floor. Everyone stopped talking to watch me retrieve it before I awkwardly sat back down. FML
Today, I tried to sneak a yawn during a quiet meeting. Instead, I made a squeaking noise that sounded like a dying mouse. The meeting ground to a halt. Someone asked if I was OK. I was not. FML
Today, I joined a work call feeling confident, until my chair slowly sank mid-meeting. I tried to discreetly readjust, but the chair hissed and dropped me two inches every few seconds until only my eyes were visible above the desk. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
Today, my boss stopped me mid-sentence, scowling and telling me to zip up my fly. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if I hadn't been in the middle of giving a presentation to not only him, but his own boss and a company executive as well. FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
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Top comments
WearingHats 14
You must have some floppy ones.
zandalee 20
Moments like these I am so grateful to be a woman! Yes we have periods, lots of girlie-bit issues and all but, is it really that easy to sit on your own balls? Damn.
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Comments (194)
RaveBlade 4
FYL, but your facial expression had to be hilarious :p
holagranola 15
Hearing stories like these make me so happy to be a girl! :)
TheStoryOfWazza 9
You should have put the one ******** in his mouth, or both, doesn't really matter.
scrappy23 4
Yea cause that makes sense.... Basically saying fire me oh but before that SUCK ON MY NUTS! .... stupid
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
no need to be a ********.
Steve95401 49
OP should have tea bagged his ******** boss.
TheStoryOfWazza 9
#48 i never expected an idiot like you to understand what i was trying to say. :)
scrappy23 4
So what were you trying to say?
TheStoryOfWazza 9
For example: stuff a whole sandwich in your mouth, then try to talk.
keidus324 6
Honestly, do you WANT your boss to coddle you and have you tell everyone you just crushed your own balls in the middle of a meeting? If so, you sir, are an attention ***** :D
FMLpuppy 3
I guess this means you are going to stop ******* around. (;
11wanda11 6
That's classic, that one actually made me laugh :)
JustFMLME 7
did you stop ******* around?
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
you poor, poor soul. may the heavens guide your baby makers to healing.
ShyAnn29 15
How does that even happen? I can't figure out how a guy sits on his own balls...can someone explain please?
dominic1221 6
Well first, look up "**** and balls" on Google Images. Then account for sag and drift guys get when they get older. Then assume the guy was wearing boxers. You'll figure it out.
ShyAnn29 15
I know they hang, I guess I just can't figure out how they sit on them, I'm slow sometimes lol
samellens 1
It's mystifying to me as well, but I've done it at least 4 times.
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
it sucks. sometimes its just bad timing, a hot day, your sack is hanging, they swing back, you sit too fast, they get crushed. just an all around shitty time. almost equal to being kicked there.
motoxraceman2345 1
I would have said I sat on one of my boys. I'll be back in a few.