Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
Today, my boss called to check if I was available for a last-minute meeting. Trying to sound professional, I sat up straight in my chair, only to forget I was sitting on a rolling chair with no lock. The chair slid back, I slipped off, and a loud crash echoed through the office. My boss asked if I was okay, and I tried pretending nothing happened. FML
Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML
Today, bored to death, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early. The chair screeched loudly as I stood, and my badge fell off and skidded across the floor. Everyone stopped talking to watch me retrieve it before I awkwardly sat back down. FML
Today, I tried to sneak a yawn during a quiet meeting. Instead, I made a squeaking noise that sounded like a dying mouse. The meeting ground to a halt. Someone asked if I was OK. I was not. FML
Today, I joined a work call feeling confident, until my chair slowly sank mid-meeting. I tried to discreetly readjust, but the chair hissed and dropped me two inches every few seconds until only my eyes were visible above the desk. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
Today, my boss stopped me mid-sentence, scowling and telling me to zip up my fly. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if I hadn't been in the middle of giving a presentation to not only him, but his own boss and a company executive as well. FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
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Top comments
WearingHats 14
You must have some floppy ones.
zandalee 20
Moments like these I am so grateful to be a woman! Yes we have periods, lots of girlie-bit issues and all but, is it really that easy to sit on your own balls? Damn.
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Comments (194)
SeeNote 1
Yup, that hurts
alcoman 4
Sucks to suck
Missusluv313 9
My ex had really long, disgusting, nasty sagging balls. And he was only 28 at the time. That is the reason I broke up with him. I pray yours aren't that long. I shudder just thinking about them. YUCK!
chellyX92 8
That kinda sounds shallow.
zandalee 20
118 - your poor ex.
desireev 18
Shallow Hal? Is that you?
Missusluv313 9
126, 141 and 146, You 3 can call me and think what you'd like. It doesn't bother me at all. I find it kind of funny actually. Keep up the good work!
esines 9
So your relationships are based solely upon the dudes balls?...
mnvikes 7
I know that feel OP. it sucks
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
Ouch! FYL, dude. : ( My husband does things like that all the time... He hurts his nuts so often, I'm surprised we have two children! kinda makes me glad I have internal genitalia. D:
hipsterhunter 9
I'm a girl and I cringed at this, no matter how weirdly you have to position yourself in order to sit on your own balls. FYL.
RenZia777 3
that must have hurt
buca100 4
Go up there and sit on his testicles.
Meesersuperman1 4
How the **** do you sit on your balls? Unless they're saggy or abnormally huge.
NotARussianSpy 5
I've done this before, minus the boss part. One word: Holyballsthatfuckinghurts. FYL just for that.