Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
Today, my boss called to check if I was available for a last-minute meeting. Trying to sound professional, I sat up straight in my chair, only to forget I was sitting on a rolling chair with no lock. The chair slid back, I slipped off, and a loud crash echoed through the office. My boss asked if I was okay, and I tried pretending nothing happened. FML
Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML
Today, bored to death, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early. The chair screeched loudly as I stood, and my badge fell off and skidded across the floor. Everyone stopped talking to watch me retrieve it before I awkwardly sat back down. FML
Today, I tried to sneak a yawn during a quiet meeting. Instead, I made a squeaking noise that sounded like a dying mouse. The meeting ground to a halt. Someone asked if I was OK. I was not. FML
Today, I joined a work call feeling confident, until my chair slowly sank mid-meeting. I tried to discreetly readjust, but the chair hissed and dropped me two inches every few seconds until only my eyes were visible above the desk. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
Today, my boss stopped me mid-sentence, scowling and telling me to zip up my fly. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if I hadn't been in the middle of giving a presentation to not only him, but his own boss and a company executive as well. FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
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Top comments
WearingHats 14
You must have some floppy ones.
zandalee 20
Moments like these I am so grateful to be a woman! Yes we have periods, lots of girlie-bit issues and all but, is it really that easy to sit on your own balls? Damn.
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Comments (194)
Ynasia 5
...How did do they have to be for you to sit on them? Anyway, better luck in the future, OP...
TBelle4Ever 15
How did do?!
ScaughtieHolden 11
How you do not did know about ball sit accidental? *this was on purpose*
LiterOfCola 16
51: you have a scary picture
FML_Master2133 6
I think he meant big. He still doesn't know that a 'b' faces the opposite direction of a 'd' and that his 'g' is upside-down.
zandalee 20
Moments like these I am so grateful to be a woman! Yes we have periods, lots of girlie-bit issues and all but, is it really that easy to sit on your own balls? Damn.
JustKittyKat 24
I also imagine it being very sticky, hot, messy and annoying to have hanging genitalia. Like **** between your legs. Thank goodness I'm a girl.
MichellinMan 20
Yes, woman have their advantages, but the second I read your comment all I can say is I never want a ******* period in my life.
scrappy23 4
^^ or having baby
scrappy23 4
a baby* sorry
GoldenGrizzly 7
We can take medication to prevent pregnancy and periods, in some cases. You however have to get them chopped off if you want to end the baller lifestyle.
Major_General 10
As a man, I would like to know how the OP managed that.
berichsoon 11
If a man sits on his balls ( rarely happens ) he will make sure he won't let that happen for a long time. Women get their periods every month and if they try avoiding it by taking pills, they turned into a psycho.
ninjawatcher 2
Boxers and a loose set of pants.
MDTeddy 13
@75 Wth kind of medication prevents periods? Also, every girl has to get pregnant at some time. It is a gift whether you like it or not.
sirsquab 12
I'm a guy, but I don't think periods are that easy to get rid of, except by getting pregnant. Reduce the frequency, make them mire regular, but remove? Also, I want kids, and I'm relatively sure I'd still want kids if I were female, despite how difficult pregnancy is supposed to be.
absolutegrrr 7
I wouldn't exactly say 'remove' but I know I can put off my period for a long time by taking my pill back to back. Very handy for when I went travelling.
1215116a 14
139, not every girl gets pregenant...are you kidding? My aunt is lesbian and has no plans of getting pregenant whatsoever. Also yes, you can use medication to stop your period for the most part, you can ever take birth control pills and it makes it lighter.
annie_nk 23
The pill, a shot every 3 or so months, and iud's can reduce periods. Only sure fire way to remove them is a hysterectomy but that's permanent. The pill also reduces cramp pains which would make any woman happier and easier to deal with ;)
htownpostman 16
Yeah if you're a great Dane
walmartpaysme 15
Actually 155 the pill does not reduce cramp pain for every woman just like birth control does not prevent conception for every woman and to all the ignorant guys that posted some women don't even have periods or stop having periods due to many different disorders. And periods are easy to control. You can stop them, lessen their frequency or even control exactly what week they happen with birth control.
samellens 1
I've done it too many times. REALLY hurts.
samellens 1
There are BC methods on the market that can reduce your period to 4 times a year - or possibly even fewer.
MagicStallion 9
When you're riding a horse and an irregular beat after jumping or trotting, it can cause you to fall forwards with your balls on the pommel of the saddle. Only then will you know true pain.
SusanBieber 10
Birth control can stop your period for a little bit. And no, not everybody gets pregnant.
bestCOMMENT 5
Us men know how you feel don't worry its over now :L
starman02 12
Your boss sounds like a charmer
bestnameright 14
Right? Watta ********!
Dolgopiat 2
You have testicles and you are a woman, right? Maybe, those testicles were someone else's?
keven501 12
A man's worst fear as he grows older.
Feared 9
I think prostate cancer, castration, balding, fat, and erictile dysfunction are above that.
walmartpaysme 15
If I were a guy, I think I would rather be bald than sit on my testicles.
yuzuhere 21
...I'm slightly confused to what gender you are. Edit: Nevermind, I'm clearly blind.
MichellinMan 20
Last time I checked women didn't have testicles.
Sirin_fml 47
You're not blind. The OP's finger must have slipped, so... I've fixed it. It happens.
yuzuhere 21
OHHH, okay. That puts me at ease. Thank you for clearing it up :')
Eliseopwns 22
Your picture. HNNNNG.
GovernorGeneral 8
Lmao was the gender sign female? xD Okay..i suppose that was obvious... Meh =3= D:< Thumb me down and i'll sit on your testicles :L Wait wtf nvm that is not a good idea... -Flies away-
auzz1_pride 9
128, so many virtual faces, starting to get confused if you're angry, sad or happy >.>
loserboii 11
Excuse yourself? Maybe that wouldn't have worked either
chellyX92 8
During a presentation it's a bit rude. Especially after yawning. He was probably going to get chastised either way.
JustKittyKat 24
Once, I was sitting in my now ex's lap. He was poking my sides which caused me to squirm. As I did so, he did too. This caused him to somehow sit on his balls with not only his weight, but my own. Anyway OP, I'm sorry you hurt your happysacks.
iXTMAstro 6
Happysacks? Lmao I haven't laughed this hard in a while! Ahaha
BaselxD 8
I think that's great , now you know how men feels xD
RaveBlade 4
Lol at your pic xD starting young, eh?!
BaselxD 8
Haha xD yea boi. Btw he changed his gender it was a girl story now he's a guy