Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
Today, my boss called to check if I was available for a last-minute meeting. Trying to sound professional, I sat up straight in my chair, only to forget I was sitting on a rolling chair with no lock. The chair slid back, I slipped off, and a loud crash echoed through the office. My boss asked if I was okay, and I tried pretending nothing happened. FML
Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML
Today, bored to death, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early. The chair screeched loudly as I stood, and my badge fell off and skidded across the floor. Everyone stopped talking to watch me retrieve it before I awkwardly sat back down. FML
Today, I tried to sneak a yawn during a quiet meeting. Instead, I made a squeaking noise that sounded like a dying mouse. The meeting ground to a halt. Someone asked if I was OK. I was not. FML
Today, I joined a work call feeling confident, until my chair slowly sank mid-meeting. I tried to discreetly readjust, but the chair hissed and dropped me two inches every few seconds until only my eyes were visible above the desk. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
Today, my boss stopped me mid-sentence, scowling and telling me to zip up my fly. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if I hadn't been in the middle of giving a presentation to not only him, but his own boss and a company executive as well. FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WearingHats 14
You must have some floppy ones.
zandalee 20
Moments like these I am so grateful to be a woman! Yes we have periods, lots of girlie-bit issues and all but, is it really that easy to sit on your own balls? Damn.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (194)
daybar12 8
This made me lol so hard... Sorry for ur luck though... Get boxer briefs that'll be less likely to happen :D
st333ph 12
Saggy balls?
lelandw7393 3
Maybe your boss thought u were busting his balls..... O wait u were busting yours ... Fyl sorry... Remember readjust before u readjust catch my drift? Haha
kristof16 1
When i first read this i thought it said "...accidentally $h!ting on my testicles..."
Bulletross12 0
So. So incredibly glad to be a woman. But hey... How big do they have to be to be able to sit on em... How DO do you sit on em? Damnn
hol18 5
You must have huge bald ;)
SanityIsOverated 3
I'm curious. How does one sit on their testicles?
elvisaaron 3
Boxer briefs dude, boxer briefs .... The fell of a boxer but keeps the jewels in place .. commando is a no go at work unless your bangin the receptionist on breaks or its laundry day !
Anubis_81 21
I sit on my nuts all the time, especially getting in and out of my car.
Reaper5639 16
While reading this I crossed my legs. Dude I know the feeling, its freaking painfull!