Today, during a family gathering, my mom, grandmother, and aunts started talking about an erotic novel they're all reading on Amazon. My cousin asked for the writer's name and I heard my pseudonym in response. My entire family is reading my horribly-written porn. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML
Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML
Today, I’ve been writing a novel, so I had my brother read it. He pointed out that the heroine's lover, who she hates most of the time but has hot nasty sex with, pretty much describes our dad. I based the heroine on me, so now I want to be sick every time I read the sex scenes I wrote. FML
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML
Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML
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Top comments
JasonThorn 23
Considering they are talking about EROTICA at a family gathering, you might be more normal than you think.
azouwa 26
you should make a part 2 and raise the price.
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Comments (23)
Tiny Terror 19
Hey, at least someone's reading it!
buckdharma 38
Write another book and make them all characters, but be sure to include the disclaimer... Any resemblance to actual persons is purely coincidental.
jfsiv 17
My thoughts exactly!
Glowworm56 27
Your pseudonym wouldn't happen to be Chuck Tingle, would it?
XxNightwingxX 21
What did they think of it? 8D
adjwejaelwkdc 21
What are the chances that they found out and are reading it specifically because they know you wrote it? Or that they found out and are acting like they read it just to yank your chain?
raven_of_azarath 35
Can't be that bad if you actually got published. That's hard to do.
Isa_fml 20
Anyone can self-publish on Amazon.
Elisabetha Aarron 18
You can self publish anything on Amazon.
Shriya Rajput Khan 3
At least now u know that u r a good **** writer. Best of luck for the future. ??
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Okay, what is the name? You have to share it with us now. :D
tonyfan00 38
Is the book titled "Embarrassed to Death" by M.Y. Fam?
zoelog 10
um aren't you the one who posted it online so people would read it? I'm confused