Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML
Today, I was having a good time drinking with a few friends. Next thing I know, I'm walking down an unknown street, with just one shoe, no wallet and no phone. FML
Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML
Today, my girlfriend was in the back seat of a car with one of my friends when she got sick and puked all over one of his dress shoes. My friend then asked me to replace his shoes, since she is technically unemployed and couldn't pay him back. We eventually agreed that I would pay for one shoe. FML
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML
Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
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Top comments
mzhonesty 0
Drink less, dumbass. If you can't handle your booze, don't drink at all.
WoolyWhoop 7
What a stupid FML.
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Comments (68)
trueeast 0
42 is ignorant
lukascepanovic 0
YDI for being drunk outside of home
ThankYhuCaptinOb 0
what was your shoe doing outside ?
jollyjam1 2
And that is what happens when you aren't smart enough to stay away from drugs. Nice job genius!
rinzy 3
wow, your life is totally over without that shoe. how can you go on?
mister_moops 0
ydi for not even thinking it could be your shoe, but not for drinking like all the retards here will say
breyahna12397 0
lolz that lonly poor shoe
Emperor_Jim 0
YDI, but for being a drunk, not losing a shoe.
darkmoon12198 0
YDI, for drinking in the first place. Plus it is only a shoe... Alcohol is poison to your body. Shouldn't even be in a car drunk. You might mess up the driver.
somethingnew24 0
shit definetly does happen when your drunk I keep supplies in my bathroom for when I throw parties like a pillow and blanket!!