Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML
Today, I was having a good time drinking with a few friends. Next thing I know, I'm walking down an unknown street, with just one shoe, no wallet and no phone. FML
Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML
Today, my girlfriend was in the back seat of a car with one of my friends when she got sick and puked all over one of his dress shoes. My friend then asked me to replace his shoes, since she is technically unemployed and couldn't pay him back. We eventually agreed that I would pay for one shoe. FML
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML
Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
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Top comments
mzhonesty 0
Drink less, dumbass. If you can't handle your booze, don't drink at all.
WoolyWhoop 7
What a stupid FML.
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Comments (68)
padlarf 14
Please tell me you're from Seattle. SHOELESS IN SEATTLE! WHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!1111111
instantaction 0
You. Would. ;)
smileycupcake62 4
loooove the row of 1's in the place of the rest of the exclamation points you intended to be there;) lol!!!!!!!!11111111
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Wait... I think I missed the part that makes this an FML? :(
giosthename 0
Today, after I drank way too much... YDI
george456 0
YDI for being a drunk.
mzhonesty 0
Drink less, dumbass. If you can't handle your booze, don't drink at all.
Cruth 2
It's your own ******* fault for trying to be cool and drink to much. Suck it up, stop crying and buy yourself new shoes. Atleast if u haven't wasted on your ******* drinks. YFDI idiot
PottentialFML 0
looks like you left your shoe.
Sniper3000 0
I see what u did there
TommyMagic 0
YDI for being drunk
schalk 12
Hehe i once got so drunk when i was high school the policemen didn't want to load me in their car lest i blow chunks in it. But seriously, drinking that much is bad for you. Best way to avoid a hangover is not to get drunk
Frank155 5
YDI fool