Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML
Today, I was having a good time drinking with a few friends. Next thing I know, I'm walking down an unknown street, with just one shoe, no wallet and no phone. FML
Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML
Today, my girlfriend was in the back seat of a car with one of my friends when she got sick and puked all over one of his dress shoes. My friend then asked me to replace his shoes, since she is technically unemployed and couldn't pay him back. We eventually agreed that I would pay for one shoe. FML
Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML
Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
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Top comments
mzhonesty 0
Drink less, dumbass. If you can't handle your booze, don't drink at all.
WoolyWhoop 7
What a stupid FML.
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Comments (68)
lakeoffyre 0
So THAT's why I always find 1 random shoe on the side of the road!! Thanks for clearing that mystery up for me!
george456 0
Actually, none of the above are true. You're probably the end result of a drunken backseat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic, so STFU. (Yeah I borrowed Stewie's line. So sue me.)
music_METAL 0
while in the process of projectile-vomitting it didn't occur to you at all to look down? hmm FYL, then again unfuck your life cuz shit happens when your drunk.
brookuhnina 0
"YDI, for drinking in the first place. Plus it is only a shoe... Alcohol is poison to your body. Shouldn't even be in a car drunk. You might mess up the driver." ? foreal? wow. so you're not allowed to have fun at all? oh no wait, 'fun' is fingerpainting. right? listen, child, grown-ups like to have fun sometimes. you wouldn't understand it unless you've ever drank. so grow a pair and try some, or shut the **** up. go play on the swings.
Offensive_fml 4
getting drunk is 'fun'? sure, you're a major proof that the brain isn't connected to the body in terms of higher age = better knowledge.
Offensive_fml 4
getting drunk is 'fun'? sure, you're a major proof that the brain isn't connected to the body in terms of higher age = better knowledge.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
Getting shitfaced and throwing up at the side of a street is not "fun." There's nothing wrong with drinking but damn, handle your alcohol.
superboboboi 0
RJB*
Captain1x 1
Bunch of boring tools, have a drink and chill.
ashleeh0718 0
Random.
xXcaraXx 2
Well, I wouldnt say that its missing