Today, I got home to three boys riding bikes out in front of my house, smiling at me. I instantly thought they were checking me out, so I smiled sweetly at them. Turns out they were flaunting the fact that they just stole all 3 of our bikes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML
Today, I discovered a purple BMX bike abandoned in my front yard. I wondered why it was there, until I looked over to discover that my own bike had been stolen. I guess they liked mine better. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML
Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML
Today, I caught three kids setting fire to a bush. After chasing them off, I parked my bike by a house and went to get water. After I'd put the fire out, I walked back to my bike just in time to see the kids running off with it. FML
Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML
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Top comments
airforce987 20
get a car and ride them over
btown99909 0
at least they were nice enough to let you know they were stealing your bikes, most people don't even do that these days.
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Comments (90)
Alexunited1212 2
pull out your glock
mattmalin11 0
Introduce them to Casey Anthony. They'll be dead in a week. She needs to party, after all.
megaaann_fml 9
Um, #43, I think it is. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/stupider?qsrc=2446 If you don't believe me, go to that link. What's that word just below 'stupid-sort' and just above 'stupidest'? 'Stupider'? Now, do you think a word that didn't exist would be in a dictionary? No? Didn't think so. You just got owned, bitch.
chelseaaababyyy 17
you 'instantly thought' ?.. cocky much ? lol
why_me92 0
typical woman, too dumb to realize her own property is being stolen
TheHexagon 0
Why would you smile sweetly at them if they were checkin you out? I call deprived of male attention.
5t3ff1k4h 45
Some smile sweetly as a way to politely ignore their advances.
saturnsonic 3
that sucks but its also funny if you think about it!
CheyLoveJones858 0
okay. so now all you need is the mouthwash up the nose guy. and get him to show the kids a trick;)
androidlover2 0
people r so nice... manners
BtheBeast94 7
why the heck would a mother smile at boys checking her out anyways?