Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML
Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
Maybe you should have sex with your pants off.
lalala2012 2
u only lasted 3 minutes?!? that's pathetic
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Comments (209)
lawlatyourfml 0
why was your phone anywhere near you? why was your phone in your pocket? why the hell did you still have your pants on? why the hell was your phone even on? you fail at life because of all of those things and the fact that you only last three minutes.
paoolaa 0
that's just freaking weird.. oh well, did your mom enjoy it? :)
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for fornicating. YDI for having a mom. YDI for having a phone. YDI for having a bed.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
oh, and YDI for being quicker than Al Bundy.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
sorry for the repeat; my earlier one had disappeared. wait, I'm a troll. I'm not sorry for anything. If you don't like repeats, you can go **** yourself.
polopony 0
but if you do, make sure your phone is off
Trollz4daLULZ 2
DAMN! I can't believe I didn't think of that. Well done, sir. You win 4 interwebz.
Chaseee_18 0
3- DILLON
zeeda 0
well if he kept his pants on I guess he was expecting a quickie :)
JokeMeister 0
YDI! Why would you have a phone near you ?
dopebaby420 0
wow, three minutes. whata champ.
MzMegs 20
"Today, I had sex. FML" ...What?
CresentNinja 0
We want Big Booty Bitches
mayhemxphoto 0
faaaaail!