Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML
Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy or a girl. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, my eight-year-old daughter refused to use the port-a-potty at the fair. She preferred to piss her pants. FML
Today, my eight year-old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mindfucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
Today, I gave my 16 year-old step-daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me "the hypocritical pervert." FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, I found out that my 11 year-old daughter dresses skimpy when I drop her off on the weekends at my ex-husband’s house, courtesy of his girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. When I confronted her, she told me to “stop being such a prude” and with my attitude, “no wonder you get cheated on.” FML
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Top comments
iarefatal 9
However if a boy wears a dress he can still go to the girls bathroom. This is a fact!
xYin 16
Doesn't he know it's actually the largely untrue stereotype that all women were a cape to the bathroom?
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Comments (82)
xYin 16
Doesn't he know it's actually the largely untrue stereotype that all women were a cape to the bathroom?
gotaplanstan 28
Cape to the bathroom, as a chimpanzee to the tire jack. (O_o)/
Havinci 19
So they're not a cape any more? just asking for a friend
iarefatal 9
However if a boy wears a dress he can still go to the girls bathroom. This is a fact!
perdix 31
#2, Scotsmen in kilts do it all the time. That accounts for some sightings of the Loch Ness Monster;)
Sam_Dchi 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What a douchebag.
NurseJonathan 9
Careful. He could be a future president. Obama managed to trick millions of people into thinking that they'd get free healthcare. Who says this kid can't manage to do that?
perdix 31
If he convinced her to squat in the urinal, he's a comedic genius! The next host of Punk'd.
Dracoboxer357 36
4- Don't even joke about that, Perdix, I've gone into public washrooms to find someone took a dump in the urinal. Whether it was the act of a desperate man, or a rude one though, I have no idea. :p
perdix 31
#24, I once saw in a hardware store's men's room that someone took a crap on the floor right next to the toilet! I couldn't decide if they were angry at the store or whether their aim was that . . . *lowers sunglasses* shitty.
twaumat 28
this kid will go far!
dead_insects 18
draco, humans are gross. that is all...
israelnotjacob 20
I have to vote YDI because if your child is really that naive it's more than likely at least partly your fault.
Ashamed_Sister 60
I fully agree. A 14 year old girl shouldn't be that stupid.
BreezyLynn333 9
I know a 14 year old girl who didn't know what language people from Mexico spoke. It's pretty pathetic.
robotiick7 23
#13 I've seen worse there was a girl in my class who didn't know how to make toast
israelnotjacob 20
Paris Hilton perhaps #14? lol
Zomg_Okay 27
I have vague memories of an FML from ages ago, regarding a teenaged girl in a school who did not know what a cloud was. To be clear: The ones in the sky, not the computing kind.
mattlw 25
I once heard a survey, where numerous adults were asked, "What religion is most common among the Israeli people?" Every one of them guessed Muslim or Islam. So unfortunately this world is filled with unsharpened knives, and dim light bulbs.
Cristinita_fml 4
A Muslim is an Islam follower. So that's not two different religions!
roxxyfoxxy3 25
-14 I don't know how to make toast, but still, I'm pretty intelligent :) I was just never really taught how. THAT'S, my mums fault,
Zomg_Okay 27
I wasn't taught either, 52. I just figured you put the toast in the toaster and turned the toaster on. Tried it. Hey presto! Toast.
gummybear1996 13
Actually 54, you put bread in the toaster
Zomg_Okay 27
My life is a lie!
Spazz420 7
Better buy her some triangle dresses!!
oj101 33
I'm actually more concerned about the possible serious implications for your daughter rather than lamenting their stupidity/gullibility.
The_Thinker 18
Your son is cunningly persuasive. He'd either make a good banker or laywer one day. There's hope yet, OP!
happylawyer 16
Hey! I used to do things (almost) like that to my little sister. Now, I am a lawyer. I feel sorry for OP.
TheBrightSide00 16
Come on, look at a brighter side. Your daughter may not be stupid, your son just may be a genius if he was able to convince her!
NurseJonathan 9
He can be the next president. Just has to convince millions of mindless people that his healthcare will be free for everyone.
Enslaved 38
I once went to a seafood restaurant where the restroom signs were "Shrimp" and "Clams". :P
RedPillSucks 33
With a long line of guys wandering around looking for the bathroom and claiming "I'm not a shrimp".
happylawyer 16
I don't like clams.