Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
Today, I was on a bus with a whole bunch of athletes at a ski competition. I had to go to the bathroom, so I walked to the back and I let the floodgates open up. When I came out, everyone who was at the back of the bus near the bathroom had moved to the front because the smell was so putrid. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
Today, while my nephews got ready for school, my boyfriend walked into the bathroom to ask me if he could accompany us to the bus stop. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold my diarrhea anymore. As he was asking, I began to loudly relieve myself. He looked at me in shock and just said, “Oh okay, I’ll fuck off now.” FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Usually, this would be the opening of porno flick, but the sounds and smells of your explosive diarrhea managed to make a group of teenage boys go limp.
Xythenol 6
Damn. Must've been one epic shit to deserve a slow clap.
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Comments (100)
thasholace 0
oh man I'm so sorry that happened but believe me WORSE things have happened
DestinyYum 3
This made my day! lol too funny, horrible but funny.
michman23 0
at least you don't go to CHS in Indiana the boys basketball team wouldve later violated you. haha
rolls_royce 0
was it one of the handi caped stalls with the rails for power squeezing
rockinbecca2 4
do u know how to spell women and men not that hard and urinals dumby
music4life0485 0
slow clap for a fast crap.
foryoublue94 0
My hypothetical reaction: SHEER HORROR.
foryoublue94 0
I think it's probably better to try and understand someone else's situation before you start criticizing them. 1)Women's rooms aren't always crowded just because women "bring their friends." If I ever go to the bathroom with friends, we're all actually going there to use it for its purpose. And there is a huge difference between restrooms being "crowded" and having full stalls. 2)You don't know that the men's restroom wasn't closer to her and she really had to go. I once wandered around the place and the men's were on one floor, and the women's on another, and the stairs were scattered all around the place, so it's possible she wasn't like "line at the women's, I better use the men's." >.>
rasta_pasta 4
I'm with #87 on this, it's not situational. If any man, for any reason, used the ladies room he'd be lucky to escape without serious sexual charges. Yet women just traipse into any lavatory they choose and it's no big deal. It shouldn't matter whether or not the men's room is closer, if you're not a man you don't belong in it.
Fuutballer 0
The urinals didn't tip you off?