thasholace

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Thasholace's favorite FMLs

Rumbled

By nthor - 11/03/2009 18:05 - United States

Today, a man on the train asked me if I had any change. I quickly responded with, "No habla ingles." He then tapped me on the shoulder and said, "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

agreeclassic 14 704

vote type 1 141 260

By Anonymous - 08/02/2011 18:32 - United States

Today, I saw an attractive, thin woman eating a salad. Trying to be smooth, I approached her and told her that she didn't need to eat so scarcely, because she was beautiful. She promptly gave me a dirty look and informed me that she was a vegetarian. FML

agreeclassic 12 683

vote type 1 50 604

By unknown - 04/02/2011 08:11

Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML

agreeclassic 33 675

vote type 1 5 980

By seepeezy32 - 02/02/2011 02:32

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

agreeclassic 21 340

vote type 1 71 476

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

agreeclassic 46 581

vote type 1 3 743