Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML
Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML
Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML
Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML
Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
areyoukiddingme7 0
that really suckss. but did you drop the cookies? lol
DDDDana 0
Daaaang. Cookies shouldn't ever be the cause of pain.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (125)
johnrdz3 24
damn that mustve hurt like hell!
OwenBicker 14
Nobody likes roasted nuts
dragonrider1959 18
I don't think cooking is your think
tatertot00001 7
Tbh I read this and laughed my ass off.. Sorry about your ass tho
babygurl69xox 11
just... why??
pringleface 3
at least you have cookies to make at least ur stomach happy :D
gilbertclarence 9
how hard did you close that door?!
KereKris 25
I will resist making the obligatory joke involving the words "hot" and "ass" here. I am sorry about what happened to you, OP, it sounds really painful. I hope you are okay and that, when the burns have healed, you can laugh about this incident. I could not help but laugh out loud when I read of your misadventures. At least you had cookies to comfort you. I hope they were delicious.