Today, I have been vomiting for 4 days. Tomorrow, my landlord is insisting on inspecting my flat. I now either have to clean my house whilst trying not to throw up all around it, or fail my inspection. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML
Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML
Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML
Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML
Today, after my landlord announced a "surprise" apartment inspection, I spent the entire night cleaning every room, scrubbing the oven, and organizing closets. The inspector walked in, looked around for 20 seconds, checked for a smoke detector, then left. FML
Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML
Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML
Today, after several days of deep-cleaning my house, I found a huge section of my room covered in black mold. I almost puked when I saw it. Not only could that have put anyone in the hospital, but it also explains why I've been getting sick all the time as of late. FML
Today, I discovered after four hours of vomiting that it is very much possible to vomit so hard you can't help but shit in your trousers. My boyfriend is currently staying over, too. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
Or you can simply explain that you are contagious with a life threatening disease and anyone who walks into the apartment will die within seven days. He may even give you the apartment after he hears that. It's a win-win.
WCARlover 35
If you absolutely cannot get the date rescheduled (which you certainly should be able to by saying you have a contagious illness), surely there's someone you could pay to clean or if you don't have money maybe could ask a friend to help you out. I know if my friend was at risk of losing their place, I would definitely help them out.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (28)
rockydify 22
'I'm sick can we do the inspection next week?'
rockninja 21
it makes me really thankful to live where i live when reading things from another country. that's really awful that the Landford inspects the flat. I hope dou found a friend to help you or reschedule that
molliekatz 6
tell the landlord you're sick, GENUINELY ILL. Mines rescheduled home invasions based on my vomiting in the past. JUST don't use that excuse next time lol
writerchic85 26
I'm sorry but if you let your home get that disgusting that you're going to fail a home inspection you deserve it.
NeryAponte 7
Why haven't you gone to the hospital? That sounds serious.
vandj8 9
I'm pretty sure that if you puke while he's there, preferably into a bucket in front of him, he'll go easy on you. So, don't worry too much.
becca9985 34
You could always hope that whatever you have is contagious and that he/she will catch it for not being considerate enough to reschedule. Feel better soon!
popecatapetal 5
Vomit on your landlord when (s)he arrives. They probably won't be in the mood to continue the inspection.
Couch_Potato 17
Carry around a bucket while you clean
lestatsbride 3
carry a bucket and clean as best you can